When I was 2 years old.
I did not know true pain,
I did not know true fear.
My life was full of rainbows.
When I was 2 years old-
My innocence was my beauty.
Years went by;
I was now 8 years old.
I knew pain,
I knew fear
The rainbows in my life no longer there.
The rainbows replaced with storms;
Storms of violence, of pain and fear.
My perseverance was my beauty.
6 more years pass,
I was 14.
Full of pain.
Full of fear.
I was scared of life.
My beauty was gone.
Now 3 years later...
I still know pain,
I still know fear.
But things have changed.
The rainbows look down on me once again.
The pain - still there, but less prominent.
The fear, following me - but no longer dominant.
So, now at 17.
I live, I understand and I love.
When I was 2 years old my beauty was my-
Innocence.
When I was 8 years old my beauty was my-
Perseverance.
When I was 14 years old my beauty was gone.
My beauty no longer missing.
It is no longer hidden.
My beauty has arisen.
My beauty, now...
At 17 years old.
My beauty now is;
My 17 years of pain,
My 17 years of fear,
My 17 years of experiences,
My beauty is me.
I am my beauty.

hey i heard you are doing better
im glad
for you

im not doing better
it's worse


im tired of drawing lines on my arm
running out of time all along

they told me it'd be ok
well what if everyone was wrong

?

do you still need me

you sent me a post
"send this to the person that saved your life, even if they didn't know it"

im glad you're better
im glad i could help

but dear god i'm still falling apart

I feel inspired.
Inspired to write about the man in line who I do not know, but I do know.
Friends, strangers, & self.
So well acquainted as a seamless stich.
I smile.
Hand touches arm.
The endearing laugh of an unfamiliar sound, but I hear you so well.
Faces around turned and gauged in.
Gravitation pull, loneliness lost in the open.
Closed by the proximity of our spaces colliding.  
Today, a stranger saved me at the sound of hello.

i owe i owe it's of to work i go

I've been biting my cheek to keep from grinding my teeth,
clenched jaw, I can barely speak.
You make my blood boil while my heart is skipping beats.
The line between love and hate is faded and repainted
time and time again.
You're all of my worst habits aggregated,
and I can't quit one or you
to save my life.
Like you did, when I lost everything and almost everyone.
You

For all things there is a season, a time for everything under the sun.
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather.
But -
Forgive me, if i spend my whole life questioning this -
Time.

Why is it my lot in life to work and be happy with it.
Am i nothing but a brick in the wall.
A mist that appears for a drop of time and then vanishes.
Merely a stem - some may bud, the lucky will flower
but all will wither and fade away.

Forgive me, when i say this -
For why should evil stick his face in mine and mock my happiness.
I am selfish, I am ungrateful
How can I enjoy this fellowship with injustice?
Where Love stands, hate reigns.
Where Peace sings, war screams.
Where Happiness dances, sadness breaks its bones.
Where Breath lives, darkness suffocates it.
This is human - self-destruction,
Created in love but born to sin.
We know of nothing else, until we find
You -
Ardent patience, Yearning salvation -

This is human - saved for nothing.

As he stood among the people, they didn't see.
As he died among the people, they didn't see.

As he came back from the dead, they still didn't see.
When he comes back, they will see.