Now Different

He once wondered if there was a rep

Who actually wore different coloured footwear?

He wondered this for years a stupid thought

And then there he was a rep in different shoes!

The rep appeared to be a narcissist by image

With one arm fully tattooed and tied back hair

An air of importance surrounded him

He wasn't a manager or boss just a rep

Not necessarily bad or arrogant he was just

Full of self-importance and something else

None of that mattered right now to Brian

What did were the different coloured pumps

One was bright yellow the other was red

Both were the same type of trainers

Not the same pair but the same make

He'd obviously swapped them around

It was the second time he saw him

And each time the rep had worn opposites

He had a quirky thing for opposite shoes

He decided he would write this poem

To remember just another rep now different

Times Over
The Fake God gloated and said
'Hey mate I win this round and for good'
He nodded and replied yes you win here
But not for good tho I'll accept the NTE
No disputes as numbers don't lie
Yes boss I know I failed in sales
Do what you will transfer or fire me
I'll transfer you to collections
Brian went on to say why did you
Follow me four times over Asia?
I worked in Bangkok and Manila
In Pattaya and San Fernando
You stalked me the same companies
I'd get it if we were pals
You're a fair boss but not my friend
Excellent at sales better than me
Yet you scammed one time and was
Booted out on the B2B account
I went to Bankgok you followed me!
Brought your Wallflower along
It's fine I ignored you both and now
I listen to your whys on my sales
I'm not as good as you tho did ok boss
I did my best and that's fine for me
Now you transfer me to collections
Normally that would be fine
It's not now and I'll tell you why
Fake God looked surprised
He was to the point
My Time in Asia and the BPO is over
I'm off back to Germany and elsewhere
Thanx for the B2B experiences
No more calls I'm outa here
Have a nice life boss!

Lick Not Bite
Where is the sale?
Hiding in the sky
Quick reach up
Get the sale now!
Poor agents no sale
Time for a meeting
Then coaching session
And call monitoring
Are they following?
Teach them then
Spoon feed them
So they get more sales
Aren’t outlying agents
With 0 or just 1 sale
With 7 or 8 or more
Poor little reps
Always stressed on calls
Pushed to extremes
Sales account joy!

NTE Yourself!
NTEs were given out each month
To the reps with low or no sales
In time there were no reps on the account
The Fake God was left alone
Just him and his support to call
They each wanted two fifty k a month
To do the work of ten reps
It was physically impossible
But they went for it and failed
Would they give NTEs to themselves?

Reduce It
Expand the size of it
What you ask?
The cash in your wallet
Your **** size
The engine in your car
Your ego size
The number of galfriends
Your apartment size
The type of motorcycles
Your lifetime
All this and more
You want extending
I’ll tell you this
We’ll do the opposite
Reduce it all!

Hoop Jumping Writers
The writers have to jump thru hoops
Like trained pet dogs for a biscuit
The biscuit is a publishing deal
Or poem in print or online story
The publisher says jump
The writers ask how high?
Have you ever seen jumping writers?
The funniest sight you’ll see
All jumping together jump jump jump!
Jumping thru hoops to get in print
Doing anything for a deal
Some even leap or somersault
How do they manage it?
Dear little small time writers
Who dream of the big time
Want their name up there in lights
Will their play sell out Broadway?
Maye you’ll be the next Jackie Collins
Write something new and original
Jump thru hoops the same old ****
They tell every newbie writer
One day you’ll make it big
Each bit of writing or poem or song
Must be better than the last one
What if the writer declines?
To be big or well known
I refuse to hoop jump!
I write simply for me…

Peak Ale
Rivers of beer flow down the mountainside
Like spring time rain fresh wet refreshing drowning
So lovely to sooth you no worries mountain beer
Very strong just what the doctor ordered
Drink your fill have enough to drown in
You will not feel death it’ll be like birth
New beginnings brought by peak beer
Brewed atop the summit by a Goddess
See people lined up to sup this ale
It’s free of charge life giving juice
All juiced up motherf*ckers!
The joy of life only at this location
Nowhere else has natural beer like this
And a **** goddess a few lucky guys can have
If they tick her boxes the right way
Are you one of those like I was?
I had her before I drank her beer

Keeps Loading
The system keeps freezing it makes you want to be elsewhere
Rather than stuck here in work using a tool that’s frozen
You’re not in the mood for made in Red China jokes
You want to be on top of the mountain free from all this
Oh what crap you must endure but you have your reasons
To do all this and in time you’ll be free of all this *******
So have patience and let the system load think of later
When this moment passes what you’ll achieve do
This will seem like a kid’s dream or mild distraction
Till then your obsolete system keeps loading
When this time and moment passes it will be worth it
This you will fully see and understand

This poem is death to write
Everything about peace is a blight
Upon moods of melancholy that strike
Hour and season alike.

Each of my sentences grow too stout,
I think I am nearing burn out
I must conclude about this rhyme,
I don’t give a ****.