Forged.
Forged in fire.
It’s the fire that burned you.
The fire that was all consuming.
The fire that melted you down into nothing,
Or so you thought.
Forges are hot.
They cause pressure to make you change.
And without change,
A sword would still be metal.
A metal would still be rock,
And a rock would never become a diamond.
Pressure is important.
It hurts at first,
But then it strengthens you.
Strengthens you to something stronger.
Stronger than diamond.

My eyes drift and tongue splits over thoughts of you
Like waves upon the rocks I sequest in rocks pooled
Emotions that are seldom said instead erode
What's there doesn't seem to know
Doesn't seem to care what it affects
Acted indifference with a cement star and a Hollywood name
Takes you away and leaves me the same
Till the wind blows back the other way and my face can change yet refuses to do so.

Watching old Anthony Bourdain
and I hope the uneaten food gets donated to his staff
like how the great feasts of young King Henry VIII
got thrown to poor, after He had a bite or two
of foie gras done 12 ways


Never mind
After all that's happened
Tony should be beatified
I remember laying on the floor of my parent's room
when I couldn't get to sleep in middle school
and we'd watch a back to back block of No Reservations
on a 13 inch box TV on their nightstand
The next thing we knew, people grew more open for a time
Wegmans' got sushi, and Dad loves it
The parents weren't so ashamed of the city they fled to the 'burbs from, just for a second
Took them to a bespoke restaurant during pride month
and they thought it was a gay bar
just because they flew a rainbow flag out front
They grew to welcome it
for a few years at least

Thanks Tony
Wish you were here
and I had more to say about that
than a ******* postcard script
Your voice is still echoed in my house
on an endless nightmare streaming channel
kept on mostly for my chiweenie
You'd be horrified, but
still I know your take
could help reinvigorate our hope in a connected world today

"so you want it to be the same?"
pretty much, yeah
"in that restauranty place?"
exactly, even i am not sure where was it.
"leather seatings"
yep, brownish and sincere
"you wanna hear a new song, talk, sing, play?"
last time was special, he sang
and asked my opinion
i want to play this time
and him to sing along to my strings
then a small talk
but since that's an order i want a big talk
you know jokes and mentions of families
behind the cameras, maybe some memories
and the nights of tears
"that's too much you won't have the time needed"
i know, just wanted to try,
first part then, i hope he does it all singing
"do you trust him"
i do, this happened twice
"alright, your order is under processing
we'll get back to you shortly
we hope"
thanks, can't wait

Without certainty you cannot begin
Foundations always moving are not
For on such you can never build
But only to be moved and carried
Endlessly without rest always changed
Discarding the old attempting the new
But waste and futility, no mastery nor success
What knowledge gleaned very soon irrelevant
Here today, everything's changed tomorrow
Always a toddler, crippled for life
To stand for a while the pinnacle
To walk or run, foolishness, for falls
And you break, never crawling again
But for grace the sand steady as a rock
That you may know sand shift in winds
And to search for rock before you build
But not boast the death of certainty

Don't Talk to me
You put me through misery
I can only see your face

I still see you in my dreams
you know what you did to me

The perfect little angel
Lost it's wings today

How can you fly without your wings *****


Were you so caught up
In beating me down
That you never heard
my cries to stop?

I wanna watch you crumble
I wanna watch you burn
Hurt yourself and fall to the floor

Just breathe you're doing fine

Why can't you see me too
Time moves on without you


Cuz the pain in my brain
is drivin me insane

Try to enjoy yourself
cuz you won't remember a thing



If you hurt me, I'll hurt you too

Why can't I seem to forget you



Just breathe, you're doing fine

on my shoulders rests
the whole world it's not heavy
i am a rock dream

You like Vancouver and rock music
You hate Miami and abusers
I brought you flowers and some wine
I want cowgirl and *******