ever since the last goodbye
life has been less enjoyable

i don't laugh on rollercoasters
i don't sing in the shower
i don't smile at sunsets
i don't write more than an hour

i'm not interested in new movies
i'm not invested in books
i'm not so passionate about music
i'm not caring of my looks

i won't leave my bed
i won't eat three meals
i won't change my clothes
i won't take my pills

i can't dance with aubrey
i can't joke with my dad
i can't play with my nephew
i can't do anything and not be sad

ever since the last goodbye
all i can say
is that the sun dimmed without the moon
what a sad day

you whisper my name
and it starts raining
all my thoughts are tame
your face is a painting

the smell of my favorite flower
your name is my definition of love
the laugh of a love song, light shower
you're the softest bird, a dove

you're the number seven
and the color pink
you're my heaven
my missing link

my favorite ring
and the sweater i always wear to sleep
you're all the smiles I keep
all the perfect things

it's coming back
i don't even try to hide it
my energy is at lack
i don't even try to fight it

it's the same old same old
yet I never expect it
"you seem fine" i'm always told
my brain is so hectic

back to my old way
a few burns here
I miss my good days
a couple cuts there

counting the pills
until i fall asleep
calculate what'll take the ****
32? i'm in too deep

will this time be the end?
i honestly hope so
can't survive this again
i can barely say no

it's been great for so long
nothing could ever be bad
i always sing this song
nothing could ever make me sad

the hurt is so far away
almost like it was never here
"i'm on top of the world" i say
i'll never shed another tear

i go to sleep all happy
without a worry
i wake up all sappy
of course it's in a hurry

how long will this time last?
it's all black and gray
i thought it was in the past
it's a never-ending pay

turns out it was always there
distractions just pushed it aside
don't know how much longer i can bear
i just want this monster to die

i'm starving
literally

the bell rings
its lunchtime
my mind dings as i get in line

i see a skinny girl
without a tray
i guess shes right
no food today

i'll wait for dinner
i count it all in meals
if its more than one
then i'm breaking my deal

in my mind
it always repeats
"i can be pretty, i just can't eat"

someone calls my name
i wonder what they see
do i still look the same?
do i still look like me?

it's a new summer but i'm still stuck on the last
what i would or wouldn't do just to go back

i was a different kind of happy
one that could only be found with you
i don't mean to sound sappy
but do you miss it too?

i got so used to my moon
it became something i couldn't sleep without
now i'm stuck here in the same room
all alone in this house

sometimes i walk in
and i still feel it
us always talkin'
time won't ever heal it

can't spray that perfume
or play that song
smells so much like you
it's been too long

you taught me love is soft

you showed me it doesn't have to be
thorns,
tears,
secrets,
lies,
constantly being terrified

i don't have to worry,
i'm in good hands
i'm loved and you stay
instead of being pushed away

i know i'm safe
even when you sigh
you won't leave,
i know what's on your mind

you taught me love is soft
i hope i can do the same
rest assured
I'm in it for the long game

i keep forgetting you're not like the rest
i do all my betting on if  you'll be the best

you won't bite,
yet i still hide.
we work  out our fight
i try to see your side

i'm not your secret
you won't try to keep it
you love me freely
and want people to see it

i won't scare you away
even when i try
you promise that you'll stay
i'll love you until i die

i stand very still
wait for you to leave
you won't take the ****
what a pet peeve

i wait for the words
i know i'm too much.
one stone kills two birds,
something or such

walk away
i won't be mad
what do i say?
"it was nice what we had"

i'd do it for you
but you won't let me try
i'll break us in two
i hope we get by

don't clear your cards,
you have the perfect hand.
seven of hearts,
slipped through like sand

i stand on the line,
i'm all torn.
i tell you i'm fine,
we can't be reborn

"you can't just leave me"
i want to say.
it's not meant to be,
maybe another day

you cleared your cards,
lost the bet
aimed you darts
you get what you get