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Erwinism Sep 2024
no matter how you rove,
you can't trust roads
to lead you home in the
winter.

on occasions, she brews
a tempest laced with
coffee to wreak havoc
in the morning,
and at night,
in between restlessness
and nightmares,
her back holds up a sign
that reads "no yesterdays
allowed"

gone was our youth,
tarnished like trinkets
coated with gold
peddled and sold
like empty promises

sometimes,
white flags are waved,
and we find us wrapped
inside arms that used
to be used to be our home
but the years took
its toll and had us evicted
out of boredom

deep in her eyes,
I see that she is there
at the moment as a misdirection,
fleeting like a daydream fading
into the background
but in the corner
of her disquieting eyes
there is a pulsating
dark light yearning
for emancipation.
There is something
behind their walls
that I dare not behold,
lest, my heart turns into stone,
a monument of brokenness
deeply rooted where it stands
waiting for time to weather
it into dust for the wind to
scatter

it's utterly tiring
to spit words
that leave wounds
for us to dress with
never-again bandages
for in time,
in the most inopportune
circumstances our deathless
animosity just
seeps through

yet,

as voracious as we are
to be alone, we atone
for still we loved

we can't always
trust the roads to lead
us home in winter,
but if take the good
with the bad
maybe one day
we can look back
at our madness
bold enough to say
though our hearts betrayed
still we loved.
MetaVerse Jul 2024
i'm restles§ & laZy
& wirəd & tired
& not ⁿ°ⁿuncraZy
& antiadmired

a little bit manic
& chillaxed as a maniac
i picnic with Panic
& retardədly brainiac

& God as my wittiness
i'm ●ver herə trying
to c○pe with the shittiness
of living while dying


Gela Apr 2022
Sleep? What even is that word.
When the night falls and silence is deafening,
All these thoughts and unsaid feelings echo
Thumping harder, echoing louder
Now you’re tossing around the sheets
Wondering what is next
Trying to hold on to the things that keep you sane
Yet we both know, they’re not enough to keep you together
sometime in april
My Dear Poet Nov 2021
I’ve been asleep
inside my head
my pillow is soft
but my blanket like lead
falling off
it slips
I doze
My feet come cold
my toes
exposed
I tug and turn
inside my dream
I pull and stretch
and tear the seam
And in my sleep
I spill the wind
dreams of
frosts that ****
and a sun that grins
Now with the chill
against my chest
I wake with eyes
that find no rest
between winter sheets
I’m as cold as dead
It’s just a leak
in my waterbed
AE Aug 2021
You carry with you pick-pocketed fairytales
In hopes to find something close enough to home
That can fill your glass half-full
You sew yourself into white noise
Soak your hands in spring waters
That rush down memory lanes
Putting together a mosaic
of the greener grass you saw
On the other side
Stitching together fragments of light
From the end of the tunnel
Even bought yourself some rose coloured glasses
To see the silver lining of every cloud
But it all falls short
When the tree stops bearing lemons
So, what does life give now?
Besides some shade and something to laugh about...
Amara Numen Mar 2021
Every night of every sedative
Not being addictive but only for reactive
Every of them are the fear and sensitive
Naive? Nope, I am not
In a confusion, restless morning
The hardest to get up
I called them- what should I call them?
Crowded in head
Silent in dead
How's to feel ahead
I have been medicating, and still for my acute depression and they gave me schizophrenia medicine. I'm just.. I just want to survive during these phase.
persephone Dec 2020
Now I lay me down to sleep, mind naught but unwound thread,
the nearly risen sun prepared to rear its ugly head.
No mowing, honks, or rooster’s crow, but sounding in their stead:
my racing thoughts, your steady breath, all time suspended here in bed.
I hate getting home so late that I don’t get to see him but he always manages to roll over and wrap an arm around me so I feel comforted while I stare at the ceiling for hours, trying to wind down....
Aerien Nov 2020
the noxious dragon in the spine awakens
some kind of poisoned Kundalini
stretches upwards, burrows downwards
sends out spiral tendrils across tendons
enraged villi seeking
something, anything
to sink themselves into and cause
neural ruination
a kinetic torment raging
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