One more swell now motionless,
Realness from afar,
Drifting pointlessly,
Into a world of dubiety and falling stars.

The apprehension of letting go,
A fount of cognizance and angst,
With advents of dawn,
Seeing through the night, to no more be recast,

A future, said to reflect the age,
Alight, yet dimming anew,
Abaft the scud of clouds,
Burning itself out – the sun that never quite withdrew.

it was her birthday today
i wished her that too in midnight
I stayed up late just to wish her
she took her time but she replied “thank you”

tried to speak to her
her replies without soul
like forcing a new born to speak French

I had drawn a gift card and bouquet of flowers
intended to give her these but after the convo decided not to
wildflowers which I picked with my own hands
she is probably accepting some rare exotics

it’s cold and am deprived of sleep
the smell of flowers fill the room-reminding unrequited love
the gift card is up in flames bringing me warmth
I would’ve want her to have these
even if I froze to death afterwards, I only cared about her warmth

love and life both have lost meaning
all the things I thought about her
are evaporating faster than alcohol

I am poor to date her
rich enough to write about her

:) : this was her last message

If I shot at a number line,
The chance of hitting it exactly would be 0,
Because a line made only of points has no width,
And points themselves have no size.

So it is impossible to pick a specific point.

So if I had, or did, shoot my shot,
I’d have no chance,
Because she is only his,
And he is hers.

So it is impossible to shoot my shot at her.

Another song for the Autumn...      
      A ditty for the pretty things that couldn't stay
Seems ******* silly not to smoke 'em all while ya got 'em.
                    Gotta find fine shoes
                    when you choose the run-away

Another song for the Autumn...
       A ballad for the beauty that I couldn't frame.
Seems pretty stupid not to **** it all; what's not rotten.

               But the world's grown tired of singing
               And my throat's been beginning to get
                                        real sore.
               Shot our shots in the dark with some
                                          feeling.
             ­   Felt sure that we missed,
                but we don't know what we hit
                A million pieces, unseen, and bare feet
                                        on the hard, cold floor

Been pretty quiet all Winter.
      It's blizzard after blizzard, hugged by static months.
Feels kinda funny keeping warm while all nature's freezing
                    Chatter teeth 'til they crack—
                    cracking bad jokes to no one
                        'til the sky stops teasing
                                                                ­  me.

Been pretty quiet this Winter.
         Been sliding over sidewalks, slugging static shots.
Feels sorta futile not to kiss it all long forgotten

               But this throat's grown tired of singing
               And the world's been beginning to go
                                      stark deaf.
            Still shoot my shots in the dark with a
                                        feeling
               Sure I'll only miss.
               What would I do if it hit?
               A ricocheted round and two feet
                   meet ground after theft.

                 I know I'll be nursing this one
                                for a while—
                 Lick the sour wound while the
                             daylight fades.
                 So hit the **** dimmer on your way
                                out the door.
                  I'll be fine in the gloam
                 'til you find your way home...

                 I'll be fine in the dark we
                                   shot into.
              Pour another one, sweets, in the
                                  endless cup.
                I'll be fine in the dim, with my
                              separated skin,
           until the Springtime comes and I can
                           sew this ****** up.

I remember that grim spark in your eyes,
All the deep scars you'd disguise,
Those were all the scars I caused.
Hidden past of hate and cries,
And our future that I robbed.

I saw it even as we'd speak,
'Twas like you accepted defeat.
You tried to love me like before,
But we both knew it was deceit,
You couldn't love me anymore.

Even still, you tried your best
To forget of all the rest,
And be happy with what you had,
Even through all the unrest,
And all the times I made you sad.

Like a dream, we were together,
Nothing matters whatsoever!
It's like the first day that I met her.
But then why...
Do I feel this looming foreboding?

I knew my victory was fleeting,
That past patterns were repeating,
But I didn't know that day,
Was to be our last replay.

I'll never forget your smile,
Even though it was denial,
I still loved every second of it.
Please... Stay with me a while,
Don't leave me, just for a while...

I remember that hopeless light in your eyes,
You knew it was over, and your love dies,
I knew I was approaching my demise.
I couldn't stop it even if I tried.
Now it's my turn to cry.

You're gone now,
And you are happy.
I'm grateful for
How much you loved me.

Goodbye now to you, to our love,
And to the last day you loved me.

The darkness is coming,
You know this all too well.
You can see the drowning sun
Feel the breath of the icy wind
As the night stretches its claws across the sky

The darkness is coming.
And there's nothing you can do
But watch as the last rays of light shatter
And your fragile hope flickers,
Fading into ash.

The darkness is coming
You wait with dread
As ink bleeds into the sky,
And shadows crawl from the cracks
To dance upon your fears.

The darkness is coming
You fight for your life
But the shadows coil around your lungs,
Dragging you down,
Where your screams are swallowed whole.

The darkness is coming
And you almost welcome it,
Letting it pull you under,
Where broken dreams and forgotten prayers
Linger in the void.

The darkness is coming.
So you surrender,
Eyes closed,
Heart still beating—
Waiting for whatever comes next.

Time drags its rusted teeth through the hours, carving paths I cannot follow.

Four years of severed threads, of reaching through fractures

where hands do not meet, where silence swallows what should have been.

You were small when I last held you, a weight I could carry, a warmth that fit inside my ribs.

Now you rise beyond the edges of my sight, a fire flickering in a room I cannot enter, a voice carried by winds that never return.

The world is made of locks, of distances built like cathedrals to the absent.

I have screamed at stone, at glass, at paper, at laws that wear no faces, at names that do not bleed.

I have torn at the seams of waiting, but limbo does not break"

it only watches.

Still, I dream in hunger, in fractures of light.

A moment where your name is more than a ghost in my mouth, where your laughter does not stretch through wires, through time, through static.

One day, I will stand beside you, not as a flicker, not as a whisper, but as something real, something whole.

Until then, I build futures in the dark, lay bricks in rooms I have never seen, sculpt a life that may never know me.

No force can break what is already broken.
No distance can erase what is already fading.