I thought of her often
She was a siren in the distance
Faint, annoying, pulling me aside, distracting me.
I thought of the way she loved me
A breathless love, a selfish love, more like a ritual.
I thought of her coldness,
The way she shut the world out.
She would look me in the eyes
But I saw nothing. I felt nothing.
I've never felt less from another's soul.

I think of her often,
But I don't like to.

Hearing your voice is music to my ears.
Every word is played out into a perfect note creating a soothing instrumental.
I can't wait to feel your voice melodic rhythm. It's like some soft smooth jazz.
Passionately massaging my thoughts settling my weary soul. Ring master taming. Conducting the roaring beast that growls from within the storm.
Governing energy through vibrations that create new life into existence. The sound of your voice, is uplifting. Like music to my ears.

I watched you sow
Seeds of resentment
Before my very eyes

I couldn't move
To dig them up
I was needed in the skies

Years gone by
Forgetful I
Did not remember about seeds

Our forest suffered
All this time
I catered other needs

And now your tree of hate stands tall
Thorned vines I could not tame

And it bears a poison fruit
Venom, nectar
All the same

Why does it keep on growing?
I told sun not to shine

And cloud who watered it so proudly
Did not pass by this time

I took an ax to trunk
But bark was made of tempered steel

I took a torch to branches dry
But flame it would not feel

Roots gripped earth
Vines entwined
As it saw I found
The rivet line

I pulled the thread
Straight through the seams
And released the nightmare
From our dreams

Our forest is now happy
And it's creatures feel the same

But are you gone?
Should I be worried
The next time skies call out my name?

I could of have given you all the gifts of world. But you couldn't see past the box.

I ate the poison with you.
I fell right beside you
And I helped you get back up.
I kissed your scraped knees
In the ghosts of your mothers lips
But I was your friend.
I resuscitated your heart
When you stopped it from beating
I drank your tears
And cried them myself.
I cared;
I never once pricked you
With the same needle
The world persistently penetrated
You with
And I would have
****** out the venom
From those snake bites
If you’d asked me to,
Knowing that you’d never
Take that bullet for me,
Even if I asked you to.
But I still jumped into the fire
To make sure you got out
Alive.
And somehow
You thought you were alone.
And somehow I ended up
In front of the gun
And you had no problem
Pulling the trigger.

Used and bruised like a broken porcelain doll,
kicked down and pushed around behind these prison walls.
Wrote letters and letters that just piled up,
because what I had to say to you just wasn't enough.
The arguments and dreadful thoughts scream inside my head,
lingering inside of me wishing I were dead.
Missing and wishing are emotions brought just recently,
Since the night I lost you..the accident.. just haunts me.
And it plays over and over in my head...
The violent screams, the screeching tires.
A splash of blood, the burning fire.
How could this happen in the blink of an eye, all my life's worth ripped away that night..
I hurt you to death so I hurt myself more,
I trap myself away behind this locked up door.
Piles of paper wishing you were here,
fill up my wishing well year by year.
I wanna rip my heart out no matter what the cost,
I'd rather rot in hell than lose what I have lost.
But reality, it hits me, I'll never really die,
because the worst of all punishments is to forever be alive... and it plays over inside my head...
The violent cry, the screeching tires.
A splash of blood, the burning fire...
How could this happen?! in the blink of an eye?? ALL my life's worth just ripped away that night.... oh that dreadful night...

On late spring nights
a breeze through cracked windows
feeds silent madness
It screams louder than life
Memories flow as a river
Their resentment for my existence
once brought depression
After years of absorbing rancor
the onslaught of sandpaper words
ground my soul into flakes
carried away in the wind

Hollowed into a human cask
guilt has nothing to grasp
Hatred from others means little
Perhaps amusement
A muffled chuckle
breathed into the pillow
breaks the silence
until sleep

how do you get past the anger
how do you get past the rage
how do you finish the chapter
when you never turn the page

there is no happy ending
to that story in your eyes
let's go on pretending
that it's not me you despise

how do you get past the anger
how do you get past the rage
how do you finish the chapter
when you never turn the page

the words that are not spoken
are the ones that won't go away
yesterday that book was open
I am closing that book today