Playing in my waistband
Fingers trickle down
Fascinated with the way the lace moves all around
Your fingers take a dip
They trickle down my back
Warranting a hiss from me, (my) facade starts to crack
The feeling that it leaves me--
With when you're away
Makes me feel the color yellow, bright as summers day
And oranges remind me
Of the way you smell
I catch a whiff and rewind to our game of show and tell
Red is the flight
That I'm catching later on
Reminds me that I'm leaving and makes your touch feel like a con
Green is my mind
When I think of who I'm with
Never with you, far away, you're feeling like a myth
Blue is the sound
Of your lips leaving mine
As they throw away the butterflies and taste like Country time
Indigo is heavy
Weighing down my thighs
I'm feeling dizzy and it's got me caught up and surprised
Violet is ending
Impossibility.
Run around us singing 'darling..stand by me'

I clean the puddle up
I throw it in the trash
I hear it hit the metal, rainbow spills and feelings crash

The rainbow keeps on running
The colors start to muddle
I find them every morning in a technicolor puddle.

Get out of my dreams
I don't want you there
Let me sleep in peace not in pieces I want to rest
In peace
Instead you rip   me to shreds
You leave that feeling
The one that happens when I think of you and your dream-self powers through
You always act up, betray me, leave me to rot
And I always think of you in that way, whether you like it or not
My mind has a way of warning me, subconsciously so
That you're not worth it, and that you're worth letting go

Sapphic sapphires glisten in the moon
These ladies say that Hades makes them as dry as a sand dune
Maleficent and Cruella mark their spells on their heads
And quietly they tiptoe and sneakily their treads-
Move with a rhythm only grace can create
Enchanting are these women, seeing them is fate
To be an audience member to their auras and their moves
Is an opportunity that is divine, spiritually proved
Indigo in color, L words leave their lips
Straight and curvy bones and fat   vibrate from their hips
They mesmerize, they enchant, they let their inhibitions soar
Until they dance away, unhinged, and you can't see them anymore
Remember this encounter, it is one that will inspire
It will make you feel a type of way, it will ignite a fire

I'm awake, no sleep in sight
5:45am. The cogs keep turning and the fog keeps burning and I find myself
Wide eyed. In love.
I inhale the darkness with every breath, breathing deeper than usual
I inhale this smoke with a vengeance
Fresh air. For once in my ******* life I feel whole
Is it you?
Is it the shade?
Is it the love we made?

Don't make me go to sleep because I know when I wake it will be gone. Let me stay. Let me soak. Keep me woke.

I feel the bumps on my skin echo underneath my fingertips
I try to resist the urge to peel my face off
To pour blood onto the floor as I become who I believe
But at what cost?
To become an unknown version of myself seems beautiful at times, concerning at most
When I am sober, alone with my thoughts, I thank my skin for existing
With its bumps, bruises, unevenness, and lines
It was made for me
Stretched for my hips, stretched for my being, reminding me that I take up space.
And space is okay.
And it is all around us.
And it is infinite.

And that's how you exist in my head
When I hear your name that's what I think
You're an idea, a mantra
Too big to ever shrink

You're too large to ever wander
Too bright to ignore
And when you come close to me
I get this feeling that assures..
Me.
That you're religious, youre holy
You're a spirit, control me
I speak in tongues, mold me
Don't give in to the old me

Awaken me, give in
To the sinners and the sins.
Be my arms, be my lips
Erase past relationships

Guide me, be my arms
Be my legs, snake my charm
Empty me of loathing
Empty me of clothing.

I am lightning
I am rain
I am glitter down the shower drain
I am lipgloss in the wind
I am angel food cake, sweet and thinned

I'm a hammer, beating down
I'm a rose, thorns in crown
I'm a fall breeze, swift and cold
I'm a melody, sweet and old

I'm the sound you hear when you unlock a locked door
I am the sound that a gun makes when it's cocked more
I am cherries, blueberries, yellow canaries
Flying around like springtime fairies

I am a drip in a cave, an ultraviolet wave
I am the seashells you take home from the seashore to save
I am all these things, I have much more in store
But you'll never know because I'm not yours anymore

I hate that I find beauty as the world burns down around me
The leaves turn red, yellow, orange, dying
I sit there and watch them fall as I read my phone, contemplating how natural it is for them to die
Like clockwork, they break
Like clockwork, they turn

Red sheets and the
Cool sides of my crimson pillow case.
Warm air
Breezes into my brand new place.
My fan is rotating
The birds are conversating
The sun will rise soon
And then it will be noon
And then the day will be done
But I'll still feel the sun
From my heart beat sheets
And my room, complete.

My dreams are more vivid now
I'm out of the fog
I have a schedule, a routine, a home
Yet somehow I still can't sleep
I stay up too late
Just thinking, being, processing myself
Eternally exhausted
Permanent gray weights sit underneath my eyes, pulling them down towards the inferno
I feel pretty though, I get attention
I feel light most days
Until night comes
I slip, I fall, I carry this weight until I'm alone
And it all comes crashing down
In the fog of night.