You try to hurt me
That’s how it seems
When you tell me I’ll get my Karma
Because something small happened
You like to know I’m struggling
That I’m hurting deep inside
Where no one can see my wounds
You’re 7000 miles away
Nothing I can do to prove my pain

I was fractured until I met you;
the boy who saved me from halfway
across the world. Somehow, you pulled
me from the waters I was drowning
in without being there to touch
my pathetic body. You taught me to swim
rather than pulling me out;
you never were afraid of taking the road
less travelled. When I finally met you,
touched you and saw you only to cry
when saying goodbye, it was as a complete
person. I could look you in the eye
and love you the way I should have
for all that time. I was your equal.
I wasn't fractured anymore.
I'm not fractured anymore.

When I see your face early Monday morning I can’t stop myself from smiling because you’re here. You’re here and I’m here with you.
And I could listen to you talk all day, about the things you like, the things you hate, about the things you just can’t get off your mind. And I listen, because that’s what good friends are supposed to do.

When you are my company I am on the edge of paradise. And you are just on edge. If I was having a bad day you were having a bad week and I didn’t want to have to trouble you with my problems, when you are already suffering. So I back off and I listen.

It’s not that I’m not strong enough to hold on.
It’s that I’m not strong enough to let go.
Because letting go of the greatest thing that ever happened to me will surely result in me losing everything I am.

But this isn’t about me…

I wake up the next Monday morning and I look to see if you’re still here. You look better than you did the week before and I am more than grateful. Because if I was able to help you in ANY way at all, then I am one step closer to getting better myself.

You ask me if I have anything on my mind… I pause for a minute and wonder at what I should say.

Because maybe today is the day I stop hiding that list of worries. And you’ll listen… Because that’s what good friends are supposed to do.

Right?

There has always been you
There has always been me
There has always been us

Every smile is
Every tear is hidden behind a Band-Aid heart

Palpitating palpitating
boom boom bust
a little bit of water makes a metal heart rust
palpitating palpitating
boom boom pow
your gears wound up but you don't know how
palpitating palpitating
boom boom crush
too many repairs make a weak heart mush.

My heart didn't break
When you texted me "we're through."
It broke too, too terribly long ago.

You'd push away and longingly stare
At those with a nobody
pretending to be someone.

You closed off your life
And blamed me for respecting you
For giving you space.

But now, your grindstone letters
Which have crushed me for so long
Merely ground the flour
That Will, one day, bake a beautiful cake.

I wait for the day,
That may never come,
When I can say

Stronger now
Better now
Repaired now
Myself now.

But like the dust in the mill,
You've stained the flour, tainted the cake.
You got what you wanted, but still you take,
With the impunity of the grindstone, crushing the flour.

And that is why the flour never wears on the grindstone.