My heart has been struck with the venom of your twisted love
All of the memories
All of the security
Our planned future, shattered
I was lost in your dance with the devil
Round and round I swayed until my knees fell weak
And as I descended to the ground, a revelation appeared
Your face was flowing with tears and regret
The fiery lust in your eyes, doused with reality
As the one true soul who cherished you
Disintegrated into your world of lost dreams

Rain flows here from the sky
As if he knows what I'm doing
Can't stop my world from mourning
Even those young bird cry

Their peeping sound are just everywhere
But only one human listened, only my ear
Seems no one can ceases the weeping
Tears that can suppress the flame

The time when I recalled some memoir's of my life
There I've seen some close friend of mine
Laughing, crying, dancing, singing
And saying goodbye

Memories that shed more tears
Knowing that in reality
I can't see them
For the rest of my life....


written: Feb. 19, 2000 @ 4:15 pm

For Jimmy and Emmanuel
Gone too soon...

Mysterious Aries

And we all like to compare the past with the here and now,
but there are only certain memories that we will allow.
Like how “remarkable” our childhoods used to be,
compared to adulthood now where “everything has turned to debris”.
As in a state of reminiscence we remember things in the most positive light
and in the greatest form so our memories of the past shine bright.
But we forget that nostalgia is a deceiver to you and me,
because nothing was ever as good as we like to remember them to be.

Walking down Memory Lane
Living forgotten dreams again;
Seeing the faces and colors
Of friends, family and brothers.

Some of them good dreams
Of sunny days and pastures
And some were scary times
With fear in too large measures.
Many times the details there
Are cloudy and too indistinct.
Maybe they aren’t as important
As I may once have liked to think.

There are friends there, too
In the lane of remembering
And lovers and co-workers
That don’t deserve forgetting
But there are so many there
In any person’s lengthy time.
If Memory Lane were a hill
It would be a long hard climb.

There are playgrounds and parks
In the vistas of Memory Lane.
Some of them better forgotten
And some I want to see again.
I want to swing on that swing
And feel I am flying so very high
That I can let go and reach out
And actually touch the very sky.

And there lakes and flowers
On this journey through memory.
There were tasty walnuts and
Lovely pines and old hickories.
There were puppies I love so
And kittens and some horses.
So much better to remember
Than breakups, fights, divorces.


I am always so pleased when
I get to come back here again.
Rewarded for a lifetime of love
And walks down Memory Lane.

While the other children were content
To play jacks and skip rope
She preffered the company of the old oak tree
Towering in the back corner lot of the schoolyard
She rested against it's mighty trunk
Basking in the cool shade she loosened her bonnet
Only the toes of her patent leather shoes
Catching beams of wavering sunlight
As they arched through the rustling leaves
A sweet song of a robin whistled amongst the branches
As she smoothed the pleats of her dress
A leather bound book at rest on her thighs
It's jacket so familiar and a comfort to the touch
The scent of it's brown and curling pages
Reminding her of late winter nights by the fire
When her grandmother's kind smile shone so brightly
As the flames from the hearth danced in her eyes
While she spun the girl one of her many stories
As deftly as her fingers could pull stitches
From a mountain of patchwork piled on her lap
The chiming of the bell marked the end of play
And she shook herself from her daydream
Dusting off the errant leaves and grasses
She lined up at the entrance to the courtyard
A sweet smile forming on her lips
Though a measure of sorrow still lingered in her heart
A bittersweet mix both of pleasure and mourning
Her spirit pining for the solace of those precious days; of her past

If I ever tell you how much I love you in three words,
Forgive me, I lied.
Because words fail me in your grace.

these memories
each one sharp as a thorn
yet so supple
a new chapter of life has now begun
do I leave my past behind?
closing my eyes
remembering every single one
pricking and prodding
trying to find my happiness
but that is something that I have left *behind

The monumental smile
on your continental eyes.

And the impossible question they pose.

I pine in sweet denial,
and build cities from goodbyes.

And reminiscence paves the road.

I closed the box and hid it
So many years ago now
That I forgot all about it
But, I am not sure how.
It meant so much to me
Back when memory hurt.
I told myself I was a victim
And love had done me dirt.

It was only a short affair
Love lasting longer than the act.
I labeled it to myself and others
As the best as a matter of fact.
Prince Charming and all that;
The love of my life back then.
The most I had ever ventured;
The fullest my heart had been.

I only had to see my love
For all of my plans to change
To fall so fast and so hard
Never for a moment felt strange.
It felt so completely natural
To dedicate all of my dreams
And all of my hope for life.
Now, how crazy that seems.

But who can tell young love
How to behave and how to act.
It sometimes seems madness
As if I and the devil made a pact.
But it was more that someone
Looked and found love in my eyes.
When that is the feeling happening
Who stops to think of goodbyes?

I still have the love I felt then
And cradle it deep inside
And the box holds mementos
I carefully collected to hide.
Each item as I touch them
Takes me back to that day
And gives me back the love
I never want to feel go away.