Just watching to see
Just coming to breath
Just listening to be
Just living to explore
What is behind that shore?
Each moment brand-new
For me and for you
All roadmaps abondoned
I am on my own
Being guided by NOW
Seeing what's gonna show.

life feels worse
but good with you in it

a hate as hungry as this
consumes me whole

it keeps feeding on what remains
of the empty void you carved out
in my chest with the blade of betrayal

but, I knew what to do
to keep my lungs moving
after your departure

and ever since, I've hated you
as strong as I ever loved you...

for that is the only emotion
that allows me to live
(for my children)

in your stead

and so, my darling,
you have to know that...

I FCKN HATE YOU!

I know that
they love you
So I cant help
but notice
I'm talking
to myself
again


But at least
I am trying
To make it easy
But you can't even lie
You don't try
But i'm still losin my mind over you
-------------------------------------------
you said that you're sorry
but I'm still stuck in your mess

and i tried so desperately
over and over again

to forget that cold heart
without burning hatred

I'm crying, you're lying
get out of my head

and I'm feeling so hopeless
all over again

i cant help that I'm tired
i just wanna lay in my bed
------------------------------
I can't stop it
I can't stop it
I can't stop it anymore
------------------------------

I speak my mind
And I speak my heart
I'll live my life
And I'll play my part

So what about you
With your laughing'n smile
Couldn't clean up your own mess
Do what you want and leave it to the rest

Cuz girl you did me *****
You closed your mind
So close your mouth

I can't help the fact
That I keep hating you
But every time I try to think
My thoughts keep coming back to you
-----------------------------------
you said that you're sorry
but I'm still stuck in your mess

and i tried so desperately
over and over again

to forget that cold heart
without burning hatred

I'm crying, you're lying
get out of my head

and I'm feeling so hopeless
all over again

i cant help that I'm tired
i just wanna lay in my bed
---------------------------------
I can't stop it
I can't stop it
I can't stop it anymore


I can't stop thinking about you

Oh, that we'd all have
huge and messy hearts,
that we'd expel
the shrivelled, the trimmed
as no longer fit for purpose.

what is this game
you wish to play?
what is this thing
you take away?
you want my light?
to feed your darkness
you want my love?
to feed me lies

you take everything.
and give nothing in return.

you’re nothing but a thief

thief.

“stranger”
that’s a curious word
new people
aren’t really strange
they sparkle
unblemished by memory

soon enough
a faint falter
a clink in the armor
A speck of brown in
your ocean blue eyes

slowly at first
the cracks began to grow
rust rose to the surface
like the way age paints the sea

there was no breaking moment
just gentle tapping
once pristine edges
smooth from rust

before me
no longer was
a shiny person
uncovered was
a beautiful rusty person

I wore apathy like armor
but cracked every time you looked at me
like I was worth being seen.

Even now I blamed timing.
As if clocks are crueler than my own hesitation.
As if love didn’t stand right in front of me
and wait with open hands
as mine stayed tucked in pockets.

I convinced myself I was unworthy
before anyone else had the chance to.
I set fire to every almost
just to say “see, it was never going to last”
like that made it less my fault.

Still, I write this like it matters—
like this confession changes anything.
But all it does
is remind me
that I had everything
and still chose nothing.