Broken crayons still color,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if I forget,
And let the water wash my spark away."

Jumped where the tides barely speak,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if I left,
And deaf to the calling waves I keep."

Heavier heartbeats marked the tide,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if it didn't,
And erase the memories I couldn't hide."

Stones in her thoughts sank the soul,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** if that's true,
And sinking in the shallow end? That ain't what I do."

Dragged into the darker tide,
She'd say, "I'd be ******, but this hurts,
And I'll drown happily with my heart, embracing the burn."

Broken crayons still color,
She'd say, "I'd be ****** but it's true,
I ain't wax, mama!
I'm shattered glass, betrayed, in my break."

Lost in the moment—
as you fixed my loose dress.
Click, as you laughed
when the pin pierced my flesh.
Pain dressed as care,
The quietest attack.

Red dress, stained.
Ruby red blood.
Your favorite color,
was it not?


I smiled in the mirror
while you stood there,
frozen in cold contempt.
You expected me to flinch,
to scream, or to feel,
but alas.

That rush of sadness came in a hurry,
No trace of fear, no hint of worry.
Just silence where indifference marked its territory.


All the regret
bled out through my capillaries,
pooling beneath the dermis
staining the irregularities.
A quarter of my lifetime,
amputated clean from memory.

Replaced,
by that one selfish sliver of a night.
You loved anatomy,
did you not?


Anatomy, how poetic.
Cutting things open,
Watching what spills out, the cries,
Scalpel-sharp lies, incisions in disguise,
No remorse, no regret,
Behind your hooded eyes.

You called it curiosity as you pulled me apart,
Just another patient, dissected for your art,
It's funny how clinical you were with my heart.


Thirteen.
*******. Years.
Dragging silence cause it owed me tears.
You stood by me, loyal n blind.
You, the anchor babe
I unhooked just in time.

Maybe he was right when he called you fat,
At least not literally but **** it, it fits.
You always loved metaphors,
did you not?


Shipwrecked our fairytail,
Rotting over the reef,
You were looking for mermaids,
While i drank with the fiends,
******* our love for Elsa,
I did finally let you go. Neat.

My drink sank faster than our wrecked old ship,
Laughed as the whiskey scorched every sip,
Not once did your tears leave that kind of burning.


Hearts were shattered
Plural, if I’m honest.
(******* liar)
Goodbyes were said
Lit a fire in the forest,
You know how it goes,
Nothing says closure like a little gasoline.

All that love we swore we'd never unlearn
Flames in my thorat, as i watched it all burn.
Ashes lay there, waiting for the phoenix,
Tell me babe, was it now "aesthetically pleasing?"

What I hate about myself
That is so pathetic and weak
That I despise so much 
Is that you can yell at me 
Call me names, throw lies
Throw all the trust back at me
Even hit me, scratch me 
Make me hurt and cry
Make my heart beg 
Make my voice loud
You can do all those things
Yet I know **** well
The moment we both 
Finally grow quiet and calm
The moment your golden eyes
Look upon my eyes, my soul
What I hate about myself 
Is that I would still love you
I would love you wholeheartedly
Through the pain and anger 
The guilt, regrets, wounds 
I will still love you through it all
Even through gritted teeth
Even through running tears
Even with a broken heart 
I will still love you through it all

Once upon a time-
Begins in parallel life
The story of love
Not completely true
But not without its value
That halts because internal worth
Is measured by different meters.

And time was of the essence.
Yet time lingered in flesh
Vivid gift of memory  
Sweet sweat trickled down her back
Cradling his head in her lap.

When time again began,
Light shone through cracks
in the perfection.

One, occupied by burdensome things,  
Constrained.
Unready for change,
Overwhelming helter-skelter.

The other, craved a mention
Between chaotic interventions,
And, possibly a promise-
A hope for more than
“A day at a time.”

Passion turning languid,
Green-eyed-monsters birthed.
Words unspoken swallowed,
And spit out in garbled tongue.

Led to the perfect storm
of a time whence upon
Two lovers grew apart
But couldn’t part.

So they lived and loved
in parallel dimensions
Never forgetting.
Never regretting.

I was never born to be great;
I never believed it was my fate.
Not like the Beatles,
Who wrote the songs
That live with us all life long.
I wasn't here to invent
A vaccine to prevent laments,
Or destroy dementia,
Or unveil the answer
That cancels cancer.
I'm not up on investments
That provide the cash to crash hunger,
Or house the homeless and usurp anger.
No I'm not a man of wonder.
Yet, if you ask someone who knows me,
A child of mine, for one,
They'll correct my every regret,
And might say I was all these.

My heart screams your name in cadence.
Amor, I drown in your absence.
You understand me in my silence--
For I do not have to elucidate my reticence.
Time heals, they said.
But time is cruel, I say.
For a soul that longs for you 'til the end.
For a fervent vow left unsaid.
When distance is beyond seas,
Beyond continents and skies, I fear;
Beyond what the eye sees.
What is left is your ghost in the abyss.
My love is yours,
But this life was not ours.
Time was in hours;
In a field of sunflowers,
I will see you in another life--
Amor, where there is forever.

I wish I could go back, just one more day,
To Dec 31st 2020, before you slipped away.
I wish I could hold you tight,
As on the next morning, you lost your light.

I wish I could hear your scold, one more day,
'Cause now our home's almost silent all day.
I know you are watching us from heaven,
Everyone forgot, but I still remember you  24/7.

I wish I could apologize for that fight,
Which you & I had for TV, that last night.
Now, I hold regret in every breath I take,
Wishing for one moment I can't remake.

Today, I Saw a Woman

Today, I saw a woman I’d never be,
Carrying a seed not meant for her.
A woman who let him back inside,
Though once he broke her, crushed her pride.

I saw her weary, heavy with weight,
Her dreams postponed, left up to fate.
Her beauty dimmed, her spirit worn,
A love returned, but not reborn.

She bore the scars, the silent cries,
The lessons learned through tear-stained eyes.
She watched him change, but far too late,
Only when pain had sealed her fate.

But today, I saw her for the last time...
Because tomorrow,
Tomorrow, she'll rise, she'll climb.
Tomorrow, I’ll see a woman bold,
A heart unshaken, fierce and gold.

A woman who hopes for a daughter's grace,
A love that time cannot erase.
A woman who dares, who dreams, who flies,
Who finds her home beneath wide skies.

And if love returns, it will be sure,
Not one she begs, but one that's pure.
And nothing, not sorrow, not doubt, not fear-
Will break the woman standing here.

For that woman is me.