If you will indulge me, a Story for you:

"Ending"

I’m safely tucked up in bed now. So frail. When I think how fat I used to be. But I’m very, very old. Might even die tonight, in my sleep. Can hear the wind howling outside.
It’s not such a bad place this. The carers look after me well. If I’m lucky they will wheel me into the garden again tomorrow. Hope that wind dies down and the sun shines. Where am I? Can’t recall the name. This Dim Enta thing. So tired now. So tired…
“And wake!”
What? Where am I? On my back! Ceiling. Face! Doctor Sanders!”
“It’s over, Krol, welcome back.”
I remember. Doctor Sanders. I’ve been hypnotised, regressed to a former life. Lived that whole life! And now I’m awake!
Me: “Did I just die there?”
Dr. Sanders: “Yes Krol, in your sleep. Or at least the person you were died in his sleep… But did you get the full life experience this time?”
Me: “Just about, Bob. I can remember back to being about three. My parents, our little dog, a baby sister. Playing with a wooden train or something that you could ride in. But it seems I died in my sleep…”
Bob: “How far back in time was this?”
Me: “I was born mid-twentieth century, not long after the Second World War…”
Bob: “Fascinating. Better get you into Debriefing, before you forget it all.”
Me: “Yeah. It sure was a long life. Lots of history for you. I can’t get over that that was me!”
Bob: “You’ll soon adjust, Krol.”
Me: “That Death thing was scary, Bob. I was afraid of ‘dying’, as they called it, for most of my life. Thank goodness we found a cure.”
Bob: “Yes Krol, things were really rough back then. But come on, let’s get that report of yours done…”

Paul Butters

© PB 13\6\2018.

Just one

Just one
But I refuse,
Just one, come on
If it helps you can’t lose,
Just one I say
Needing a release,
Just one I do;
One works a treat.

Just one I say,
One when I’m low,
Just one when I don’t know where I should go,

One when I’m crying
One when you frown
One when I know I’m not wanted around,
One for each argument
One for each ‘I need time’
One for each part of me I now wish weren’t mine.

Make a decision,
    -- Change your mind,
       --- Do something different,
       --- Then wish you hadn't
    -- Changed your mind
In the first place.

Regret,
- Regression,
Repeat.

Where we’ve been,
Where we are…
My only fear is that we can only get so far
Before it’s time to do it all again,
Healing wounds into scars.
We’ve gotten this far.
This game of life is a bargain indeed,
But only when a bargain is what you think you need.
Remember that, remembering back…
We've gotten this far.

Swore to god that i was blessed
threw it all away my mind my devils do infest
Contest ;
or find that you are swallowed most entirely
Had no sleep to lose a victim of intense sobriety...

The story never ends
the cycle must continue with or without closest friends
Pretend ;
that the world around me isn't dieing
Extend my arms and legs as iv been huddled up and hiding

Disease ;
the only homies left were grass and trees
He told em all his problems all while sobbin on his knees
impede ;
Although its hard when demons come in numbers
aiming accurate immaculate to put you under

Repressed ;
i swore to ****** god that i was blessed
Scared away my demons all while screamin from my chest
a mess ;
Normally i walked the path of light
but found a shady tree and rested eyes for several nights..