Watching the motorway
from the cafe'.
resting my feet of clay.
Under a sky of clouds,
that some may say,
have silver linings.
But all I can see is the grey.

I try;
with my little lie,
to make
a subtle adjustment
to reality.
A slight hue
of the untrue.
Coloured just
to suit me.

It's only one
little fraction
of the larger whole.
Surely that's worth
the loss of a little soul?

Just you and me and the silence in between things
hello cruel world, once more Venus in pearls
hollow echo:
the only way to conquer your fears is to face them,

to splinter a beady eye with glowing heart
first explode out your heart and intellect
combined in a style not
unlike Omega man.

to
ritualise the intent
to
combine the helix
to
hypothesise the meaningful
to
to forge cast irons in the realms of
the imagination

Fky high Omega, manufactured man
manufacture ideals
create new deals
and fielding questions from
professors draped in death black cloth;

Try and just lie back and relax
lie back and relax
relax,
relax.

It's worth not thinking too hard,
being silent in your  backyard
it's worth keeping that silence
as it's golden, yes
sometimes it is golden,
always it is golden.

sometimes the silence is all we have
and all we should have,
it's the unsaid things that hit you most
on dark nights, unsettled in a house that
shall not breed indifference
this poet writes in the third person.

In a forth wave of inspiration
something emerges which
seemed previously impossible;

Happiness, contentment
a form of therapy, a method
that does not breed indifference

These words are my fire
these words are my soul
please take my words
and burn them
into yourselves

cage your skin, and enjoy the silence because it's
where we all will one day return to globe of
warmth, death, a deep slumber, an afternoon spent napping
by a fire.

An ambience of merry mourning. Sunlight drapes in through window
reminding me of her. Ethereal glow, sheltered presence.
Who is she? And who am I,  
really?

the silence ringing
Ringing, ringing
soul singing, singing
words collapsing
worlds collapsing

language is a power
unlock yours
and smile.
Smile wider than the sun
knowing all will be well
and all is.

the silence ringing ringing, ringing,
soul singing, singing
words collapsing
worlds collapsing
worlds collapsing

Today I felt worth-less.
Not in the sense that I had nothing
but like I had less of what I was before.

I guess for some this isn't a bad thing
but for me I'm not too sure...

My past time is Warhammer 40k
Collected 12 separate army ranging from 10,000 point to couple hundred.
My personal faction is craft world Eldar,
Since they are space elves of the dying race,
Prideful, arrogant, know it all, psyker gifted, prudes of 41 millienium.
Play with twelve Wraith Knights,
And earning me as "That Guy,"
As known as cheesy player,
Or just a solid Gould cheese.

I am inspired by Marcus Aurelius
Known as the philosophical emperor,
Also known as the last true good emperor of Rome,
Loved by many by the empire,
My favorite quote by him
"Accept the things fate binds you,
And love the people whom fate brings you together,
But do so with all your heart!"

I am a Capricorn,
Driven by amethyst gem stones,
Or a pure ruby so they say!
I have not had the same gravitational pull like Joan Of Arc,
Nor have I become a champion like Mohammad Ali,
Or fought for civil liberty like Martin Luther King,
Or earned the legacy likes of Humphrey Bogart,
But I would do my best to carry even ounce of their torch of greatness.

I was never satisfied with being the observer
or the healer
I wanted to be healed
I wanted to be fun to watch like the many people I observed and loved at a distance
I had a habit of seeing things from one set of eyes only
I tried on different masks
I felt lonely
I felt numb
There was nothing to me
except speculation
But I pushed this away
It only came in between helping others
I used to think I lost myself in guiding others
But I had never found myself in the first place

Reflective states would come in waves
But I had forgotten how to swim
The day I fell into the sea

It may have been a river
But I couldn’t tell
Because I was just a pebble

I rang the door bell as I step in the front of the door,
And gaze upon my work iPad to check for work order notations.

As I scroll upon the repair ticket,
there was bold letters,
And it read "ATTENTION Technician,
be patient with the customer,
She went through medical procedure!"

I hear a faint female voice from afar end of her house,
stating she was coming!

Inhaled dawning air with chill in my lung
While exhaled steam and vapor from my lips!

Never knew waiting per minute can feel like eternality,
And my surrounding became more intensified with movement of breeze!  

After waiting for 5 minutes,
finally the door opened,
And the lady was in her robes,
But had her hair done and make up on.
Customer then asked me where was the original installer,
And she specifically asked for his return.
She spoke with few pauses,
And slight fragmented sentences,
Then proceed to tells me she had a stroke,
And plead that I would be patient with her!

Already I wasn't her expected technician,
And I knew I had a large shoe to fill with her disdain,
While dealing with her medical situation!  

As I started my trouble shooting processes,
I asked for more information,
And explore the cause of system failure!

Knowing I needed to give her comfort during her dialogue,
I gave her my nods,
and listen to her intently.
While trying to get to the point,
But spoke less to avoid confusing her.
Until I can drop her guards,
And have a normal conversation during repair process,
So there wouldn't be awkward pauses!

Slowly but surely she began to tell me little bit about herself,
How she met husband from her friends,
And she was originally from Sri Lanka.
How lonely she gets in Kentucky not having real friends,
And in my mind I could only related to her circumstance,
But I over came it by finding my inner peace,
Which is finding a home in the present moments.

Knowing the struggle to understand what it meant to be a nationalist,
Or assimilating into American culture,
I began by asking her where is her comfort zone,
Or who makes her comfortable?

She tells me her husband,
and how much she loved him.

So then your husband is your home I told her,
And I let her know home isn't a four wall with a roof,
But it is a moment in present giving her comfort of a home.

at this moment,
my thought process became like a cat,
And like a cat my curiosity needed to be quenched.
I asked how she got the stroke.

There was a holding breathe from her,
And then her emotions erupted.
"I have a brain tumor" she tells me,
Accelerated by her cancer.
I don't know how long of a time I have left,
And her uncertainty of her life made her more afraid.
There was a desperateness in her tears.
I wanted to give her a hug,
And give some relief from her anguish.

In that moment of her desperation,
My training from senior housing kicked in.
Changed my subject back to her comfort zone!
"Please, tell me more about your husband I asked,
How did you two meet?"

She starts to get her composure back,
And wipes her tears.
As she spoke I see glistening of her eyes,
And she spoke with love.

After I finished with my repair
and heading out of the customer's house!
The lady thanked me
and then told me she wanted to tell her husband about home!

I gave her my smile,
Then lightly tapped on my chest with my palm,
then moved my hand onto my head.
Reminder to her,
home is in your heart and mind!

Driving to work I saw myself
how stupid I had been in my last three years
with my two lovely kids
my silent wife
my shining mistress
and above all, with myself

Coming and going from my pretty house
with flowers all around and lawn *******
with my finest books, waiting for me in my ***** room upstairs,
my long beautiful illness
& all kind of stuff
I was blessed every inch of these days
You are blessed, so ******* blessed, doctor Cozan

looking at stars with your boy through a shining telescope
in these silent nights of August
with fresh coffee sitting on Spinoza' s Ethic
and, sometimes,
listening to a deadly symphony of cows

and I never thought of myself as the happiest ******* on Earth
I've never cried for anybody
even now, when I' m waiting for nothing
(watching my daily ****)
and thinking of her, the luckiest strike I’d ever had.