To the boy who's heart i broke
I apologies in advance
I know I shouldn't have done what i did
I shouldn't have taken that chance

To that same boy who now hates me
With such you have every right
I do apologies that you will never see this
You will never see me in the same light

I was intrigue by you
That I won't lie
and i thought maybe
I could give this a try

I lead you on, I admit
It wasn't the best thing to do
But for the first few days
I was genuinely interested in you

You were funny and sweet
I was completely and utterly flattered
But then four factors came in
Which lead your heart to be shattered

I have my reasons for doing that
Reasons you'll never hear
Its all pointless now
As all you want is for me to disappear

My first reason which lead me to stress
Was that i couldn't handle the commitment
I panicked and I freaked, I cried for a week
You couldn't understand, I'm sorry for being weak

The second reason was that I noticed my true feelings
I realised far to late that I only saw you as a friend
I asked and begged my friend to hold off your confession
But in the end she wouldn't which lead to our digression

The third reason plays into the second
As my true feelings told me so,  I was in love with another
I was too naive to see, I only saw you as a brother
Once i discovered my feelings, I had to play it off
If you ever read this, to all of this you would scoff

My fourth and final reason was one that hit me hard
I noticed that my best friend, the one who got us together
Was secretly in love with you, And just did it to get closer
So I hurt you, and told you it was all over

I left you broken and hurt
I know, But I could see it her eyes
She wanted me to let you go
I never told you the real reasons i left you for dead
I mean how could I? When all you would see is red

Its a ****** explanation, Trust me I know
But I'm now playing the villain, a demon at most
Because I want her happiness, I want her to boast
So I'm willing to be painted as evil and cruel
All for a friend, No matter how brutal

To that boy who will never see this
For he will never know, the truth remains hidden
Buried deep below, I wish you could know
that I am truly sorry

So to the boy who once loved me
I wish you the best
Be happy and carefree
So I can finally rest.

how do i not love thee
whose eyes are glowing
akin to the first sliver of warm light
in the early morning?

how do i not love thee
whose voice and movements
are crisper than the sound of violins
and more graceful than a dove’s flight?

how do i not love thee
whose heart gleams with the hope
of betterment, of happiness,
of safety and a burning passion?

how do i not love thee
when even the moon looks down upon
the silhouette of apollo
reincarnated?

how do i not love thee
when cupid’s arrow has struck so deep
that the sole reason troclaim an ineffable love?

—

if there’s a reason to dream, to laugh, to live and love,
then there is a reason for me.
(it is thee.)