It's an anxiety attack waiting to happen when I can't think of a witty way to say something unoriginal; something that everyone has heard before, but that just now occurred to me to say. I can feel my thoughts racing, my heartbeat speeding up to pump blood to my overreacting brain that's now thinking, "How the **** am I gonna get these feelings out, now?" I can't think of a cunning way to use a metaphor--one that I need to be able to put this pen to the page and call all these thoughts in my head poetry.
What is the meaning of poetry? I feel like I should have some kind of figurative language in here, but my brain is fried. I'm too numb to process a **** thing. I'm so numb that it physically hurts and that pain is all that I can feel. That and the burning of my eyes from lack of sleep. This isn't poetry. I don't know what this is--random words strung together by a writer who's falling asleep at the page, who doesn't even know what sense is at this point. It's a rant...it's a ramble. Sleepless ramble

I think I realized why
you are the way
that you are tonight.
Once your heart gets broken,
you don’t care or have the capacity
to retain that doing it to
somebody else makes you weak.

The only perspective you let yourself see
From those mesmerizing eyes,
Is that you are utterly inadequate
And may as well not be
And a flurry of other black lies.

You think in the dark of the things you are not
And let them consume you whole,
You believe in your heart you're stupid
Guess what? You forgot
That I love every part of your soul.

You're stuck on depression and melancholy
And I try to help you out,
But there are those times of darkness
When my well-worn key
Is tossed aside as you take another route.

Look inward, love, at the things that are best
The things deep inside that make you
Who you are
Each of your special qualities scream to be noticed
And you need to find them
For yourself
Don't you dare change them
Because they are wonderful
Don't give up faith in yourself
Because I never will
Don't you dare think you are nothing
Because you are my everything

.... You've shrouded yourself in darkness
And you believe that's all you are.
But I see your light.

Today I planted to heart's satisfaction
The flowers that will soon illuminate
The beauty of our garden
And I couldn't help but wonder
If you would be able to see that glory
Because you can*t see the wonder
And special pulchritude
In yourself.

Transcend your life,
don’t die
or say goodbye,
just rise into the sky,
look back and ask why…
have you ever been too scared to ask why?
I have.
My own thoughts left me with a black eye.
But it’s alright.
I don’t cry,
just find my vibe,
relax
ride out the night.
I’m alright.
Can you tell that I’m lying?
Can you tell that I’m crying?
NO..
no..
I’m alright,
it’s all behind.



Dark poetry by Vladislav Vagner
read more at http://www.poemjunction.net/

Water seeps into my skin so quickly
Pruning my little feet within minutes
of soaking in the warm water.
That's a lie actually- my feet are not little, they are quite adverage for my height but I've always viewed them as too big.
I bruise at the lightest of touch
And they stay for weeks*
Everything I eat rips and claws through my body- just to come crashing out moments later
That sounds rather graffic doesn't it?
And they wonder why I don't eat.
The pain in unbelievable  
So dramatic poems, aren't they? I suppose that's the point though? To e able to exaggerate thoughts without judgment.
My body breaking down
Screaming with every move
Maybe not screaming. That would be strange, wouldn't it? Tiny voice resounding from your pores.
I'm still waiting- waiting for this *medication to work. Or for them to say "Let's try this instead. "
I really appreciate all doctors, they are amazing. But sometimes I feel like a guinea pig. It's been sixteen years- dont they know what it is yet?
I'm tired, so so tired.
*A dead battery *
I really am. Getting sick like this completely drains me of every once of energy I have.

Eyes wide at 1 am
thinking about tomorrow
if it shall come and will it be like yesterday.

I turn away.

For the stale breath thought of future
congealed and anxious heart beats
drumming in syncopated rhythms
panic stricken
eyes closed
watch me
fade like mist
or shine like stars
the strange horizons
wait for me
to feel anything,
to stop count the hours  
and rest in the fact

its a new day..