oh yay,
it’s happening again.
nature’s monthly gift,
delivered straight to my underwear
like a subscription box from hell.
no tracking number.
no warning.
just splat!
hope you weren’t planning on dignity today.
but it’s okay.
because this is beautiful.
this is womanhood.
this is the magical time
where your organs weep
and everyone tells you to smile through it.
and the best part?
it’s totally normal!
you know, just a causal internal bleeding event
that lasts 5 to 7 working days.
love that journey for me.
meanwhile—
boys get to walk around
untouched,
unpunched,
completely unaware that their insides
aren’t staging a revolution once a month.
“oh, i stubbed my toe!”
congrats, jason.
try bleeding from places you don’t talk about in science class
and still showing up to algebra.
and let’s not forget
the experts
the boys in gym class
who say “ew” at a pad
like it’s cursed.
buddy, you can’t even make eye contact with a ******
without flinching like it’s a hand grenade.
but sure,
go off.
tell me how strong you are
because you can bench 120
while i’m surviving a bloodbath
with a smile and a midterm.
also—
shoutout to the marketing team
that decided to name pads like
“whisper”
and “cloud comfort.”
what i need is something called
“armour of god”
or “crime scene control.”
but no,
let’s keep pretending
this is sacred.
let’s keep painting it pink
and telling girls
“you’re a woman now.”
oh, am i?
cool.
then where’s my crown?
where’s my painkiller budget?
where’s the week off from school
for bleeding and not burning the building down?
because if men bled once a month?
we’d have national holidays.
paid leave.
parades.
blood themed energy drinks.
but me?
i get called “dramatic.”
for bleeding.
from inside.
so yeah,
super fun being a girl.
five stars.
would recommend.
can’t wait to do it again
next month.
