Ask of me if I love thee
And surely I must tell thee I do
But ask of me if we shall wed
Alas, it is not to be
For thought of love in me for thee
Is not what God holds in the cards for us
I have promised my hand to another
He is wealthy and honorable
He is handsome and faithful
He is quite kind and sure to be the right husband for me
And yet ask me once more if I love thee
And you shall never receive a negative response.

Dissatisfaction sits begrudgingly in the pit of my stomach
and continues to remind me of
all the things
all the things I have strive for and missed every ball I dropped
every **** boy I kissed

Dissatisfaction makes a hideaway in my being
burrows in deep and starts to clinging
and I try to cover it up for people
because it's not worth seeing
but you can believe it

I'm a human being in this life
but where is the meaning
I've got all this pinned up strife
& the insides of my mind could use a deep cleaning
The whereabouts of my breakthrough is unknown
if it even exists
maybe if I just speak it enough into existence it'll be fixed
I suppose only God knows
but I'm not so sure if he hears my woes

Dissatisfaction is taking over
it's laying claim to my brain
it's settling into my pores
and I just want to stay sane

Lie to me and tell me everything's okay
Even though it doesn't seem that way and the clouds are getting darker and closing in
And no one is human among these sons of men
who chase the paper and will cut anything in their way
Yea everything will be okay
Even though it doesn't look like that's the case
and I pray that the time I'm giving you isn't a waste
Because I have no leftovers to give
And it's getting harder and harder to live
To breathe
To think ...

Knew that in this food chain there's a missing link
Between God and me
And it's something I can't see  
And I'm not sure if I will ever be able to do the things you want from me but Maybe that's not the path I'm taking
Jus like how they say promises are meant for breaking
And all I know is I'm looking for an awakening .
Some kind of realization or explanation for why it's so hard right now..
Why can't I figure out how ..
To be successful and carefree and live life the way it's supposed to be - just letting the vibes flow effortlessly

the sky was lilac and
blurred with the
pale obfuscations of
clouds;

opaque and formless, you sharpened
the horizon
and i thought of remembering.

Copper melted around my fingers,
eyes on me
mine on your neck.
Red.
Purple.
Candles always lit,
the light that cannot be contained in you.
Your body.
So bright.
Safety somersaults, caresses,
kisses, bites,
touches, grabbing, scratches.
Greed and lust together at last.
As you.
As me.
Us with no boundaries.
Skin to skin.
Spirit to spirit.
You to me.

The sun rises and empties it's soft morning light into your bedroom window
The warm yellow hues fall gently upon the bed we lay in
The mismatch pillow cases of astronomy and pale white linen
Your long, lean legs tangled in sheets and your brown eyes closed lightly
You inhale and exhale the fantasies that are tangled in my mind
Your cigarette smell lingers and my head fills with the clouds you puff
I don't know if I love you yet
I don't know if you can love me enough

Holding The Pen and closing my eyes, making my Heart opens his book in pain!

Listening to that Melody calling me loudly to hear the unsaid words, makes all lines shake in fear!

Space and every Element surrounding that space lead to hold my trembled Heart to Fade in Illusion!

Questioning my Reasons....

Questioning my Versions i went through and became....

Questioning the Purpose I have every Now and Then....

Questioning "Should I go Further than this Point that I reached?"...

The Sun is hiding behind those shy Clouds, trying to keep the Light of A Road from being Seen!

And I'm Questioning....

What is behind that Road?