& then
Finally knowing itself
Candour rode naked
Unwrapped in a splendour
Born in shade
Freed finally from the clamour
Of clinging on
This raw dark undappled
A ripe fruit
Plucked from empty branches
After the fall

Started with denial
Too unreal to believe

Then we were lost
No remedy to relieve

With uncertainty & despair
Many are broken beyond repair

But we crawled into acceptance
Built a fort of interdependence

When normalcy seems a far-fetched wish
You realise the time wasted on bigger fish

Maybe its a hint to straighten up priorities
When its life or death,too futile for insecurities

Never past judgement
On a person's
Dreams and goals in life
All are valid
If they involve
Knowledge
Not pleasure

Have you ever
Had a psychedelic
Dream that
Seems so real
And yet like a ghibli
Anime
If you have
Please tell me
As this happens every night
I am princess mononoke
On the best of nights

My heart begins to melt
while my hands sweat.
I begin to hide where I dwelt.
Afraid to make you upset

You make me shake like never before.
My words slowly stumble and crumble.
Either I'm falling or taking off to soar.
I elegantly dance or tumble and fumble.

Staring into your soul through the depths of your eyes
Captured in your laughter and delirious grin
Reliving each moment as I agonize
what I should've said when it started to begin.

Can you love me? Do I love me?
If love is so powerful, why are we apart?
I guess sometimes life makes us set'em free
All I need to do is give up my heart

Again I slouch on my couch.
Awake.
Conscious that I am me,
Composing this piece.
I have my memories
And see my lounge –
My Man Cave
With gardens outside.

But
As I’ve said before
When I fall asleep
Weird things happen.
In my dreams
Amazing stories unfold
As though I’m making films
Or countless TV clips.
Sometimes it’s like I’m on my computer
Again –
Living what I read
Or taking part
In streams of videos.

So many shocks!
Surprises.
With people now living or dead
In the real world.

So once more I have to ask
Who is feeding me these scenes?
Presenting me with crowds
Of people
Known and unknown.

Is it my Id, Subconscious, Unconscious…
What?
Some other person
Within myself?
Putting aside the Spiritual source,
Who is this Other Me
Who can’t be me
Because I am Me.

The Conscious Me is lost
In some Unconscious Realm,
Weirder that Twilight Zone
Every time
I dream.

We take these things for granted
Of course
Putting to the back of our minds
That we have no idea
About that fundamental question:
What is Reality?

Paul Butters

© PB 20\9\2020.

An entrance to my fears
A look into the dark edges
Chills, screams, and tears
My sleep slings me into what trenches

Trapped in my menacing mind
Reality twisting into a paradox
Reminding me through the confine
Fearful of the disturbing faux

The shadows reach for the soul
This treachery haunts my heart
The feeling of separating my skull
My memories ripping me apart

It takes your deepest senses
Manipulates your faintest thoughts
Developing a world of consequences
Twisting your psych into tight knots