The words I say feel fake
as they pour out my mouth,
a river of assurance
hiding a false facade

My days are filled
with hoping my mask never falls,
but it's glass anyway
that attempts to conceal my face

My cheeks rosey red
as I grind my teeth together,
a pit of worry in my stomach
turns my mind over

You could have given up,
but you kept on going.
You could have seen obstacles,
but you called them adventures.
You could have called them weeds,
but instead you called them wildflowers.
You could have died a caterpillar,
but you fought on to be a butterfly.
You could have denied yourself goodness,
but instead you chose to show
yourself self-love. You could have defined
yourself by the dark days, but instead
through them you realised your light.

You must be proud of me
Proud that I have moved on
Proud that I have taken a step
Admiring the progress I made
Silently happy for me

But I am not proud at all
I am not proud of this progress
I am not proud of these scars
You gave me shameful wounds
That my heart has to bear

You were my pride and joy
You were my future and hope
A partner, a lover, a friend
Now look where that got me
A broken heart for all to see

Retelling the stories of us
Brings great shame to me
Making me look like a fool
Why would I be proud of
The hardships you put on me

You are not proud of me
Surviving the heartbreak
Or how I carry myself with pain
You are proud of the scars
That still carries your name

I hate being in my city in Switzerland at the weekend
I'm in a really noisy place
I'm really in the middle of all the nightclubs
All these demons of the night make so much noise that I hardly sleep
But instead I try to study and read a lot
I really regret not waking up earlier but I think I had to go through that to understand things
There are so many interesting things to learn, so many things to discover
I'm going to continue to travel, continue modelling, save money and take care of myself as much as possible
Yes, I still have my crazy side, but I'm using that energy differently
I'm an artist and I love creativity, and I always will be
But I really can't stand it any more
Even cigarette smoke makes me want to puke
Normally I'd have to move to a quieter place
I still have to stay in Switzerland for a while to sort some things out
And also to be with my grandmother
I don't want any distractions
I need to take care to my family  
My son, my cat and God come before everyone else
And I know that this world is becoming rotten and that children are becoming more and more ****** in their language and that there's a lot of fighting going on
That's why I've considered the best schools for my son, to see whether we'll be in Switzerland or not
I especially don't want him to get mixed up with the wrong people, and I'll be a very strict mother
For the moment he's just a baby and I'm giving him all the love he needs.
And as far as men are concerned, i don't need a man in my life, I've realised that he's just a burden and a hindrance to the things I want to achieve
I have men when I want them and I have who I want in the high standard of goodure
But I don't have time for that.

My baby is proud of me,
Of all the poems I wrote,
That's all the praise I need,
Just write,
Write some more,
Till my pen tip is course,
So I can sing to her.

Miles of Grit

Before the dawn, I rise and ride,
Legs like stone, lungs stretched wide.
Gravel roads become my prayer,
Spinning through pain, gasping air.

Unbound waits—one hundred miles,
Through Kansas dust and brutal trials.
Each climb I face, each breath I take,
Is built on choices others break.

I’ve trained through storms, through aching bone,
Pushed past the doubt when I felt alone.
Skipped birthdays, dinners, bedtime songs—
Chasing this dream for far too long.

But guilt, it rides my back some days,
When pedals steal the time that stays.
My family waits while I chase more,
Yet still they meet me at the door.

And then—the race.
Heat and grit beneath the sky,
Mile after mile, I wonder why.
Cramped legs scream, the wind cuts deep,
I think of every night I lost sleep.

But near the end—I see them there,
My son,  my love, their arms in air.
Cheering loud with muddy pride,
As tears break loose I’ve tried to hide.

This isn’t just about the ride.
It’s every moment I almost cried.
It’s every hill, each stubborn scar,
And all the hearts who brought me far.

The finish line—just gravel and paint,
But it holds the weight of what I ain’t:
A quitter. A shadow. A halfway flame—
No. I burned through every claim.

Proud not just of what I did,
But of the ones who let me live
This wild, relentless, arduous dream—
Together stronger. A family team.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.

Ole, the Goodest Boy

We brought you home in a blur of gold,
A ball of fluff with eyes so bold.
You tumbled in, all paws and grace,
And filled the quiet with your pace.

We named you Ole, soft and sweet,
With clumsy steps and dancing feet.
A leash, some treats, a training plan—
We shaped your world with gentle hands.

Together we learned sit and stay,
And how to chase the fear away.
We wiped your paws, you stole our socks,
And greeted dawn with barks and walks.

The kids would cheer, you’d wag so proud,
Your ears a-flop, your bark so loud.
You weren’t just ours—you quickly knew,
You had a bigger job to do.

Through months of work, we watched you grow,
With vests and tests and healing slow.
You learned to listen, calm, and wait,
To walk through every heavy gate.

And when you passed that final test,
We cried and laughed—we knew the rest:
You’d be a light for those in pain,
A soft reminder through the rain.

Now Ole walks with heart so wide,
A gentle soul right by our side.
A doodle dog with purpose clear,
Bringing hope and wiping tears.

So proud are we, this family three,
To see what love and work can be.
A golden heart, a friend so true—
Dear Ole, we believe in you.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.

There is an ocean deep inside of me                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                                     
and lately I've gone deep sea diving                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
I'm doing a little bit of self-reflection                                                  ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
Making sure I'm headed in the right direction                                                    
   ­                                                                 ­                                        
Trusting my intuition, no second guess                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
It's working pretty well, no problems yet                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
Walking in the path that's right for me                                                            
                                                                ­                                            
Standing tall in the face of adversity                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
Saying what I believe is the real truth                                                           
Even if it's not hitting your sweet  
tooth                                                    ­                
                                                                ­                                                
Hold my head up & walk through the crowd                                                  
                                                                ­                                                
This is me being me, me being proud