You had to
Shoot me down
As I was a bird
Flying to soar
And you did not want
Others learning how
To fly away anymore.
Just like the barn owl
Ever the ethereal nun
Kneeling in the branches
Closer to the warmth of the sun
Spreading butterflies
Far away from your aim
With heavy huntress chastise
Away from your cold plain.

Eyes ache with loads of uncried tears
As my chest caves with the weight of
A heart that can't live freely
I just want to live
I want to be alive
I want to be free in this life
To have one at all
Because I'm so stuck right now
Trapped behind my own mind
And I'm grateful that it's protected me
But I am safe now
I don't need such high security
I don't need to be on guard with everyone
It's ok to be afraid and to not trust
But it doesn't help if I can't open up
I feel so alone
Yet I maintain that same state
I have people that truly care and love me
But I don't let them see me
My mind doesn't want to be vulnerable
It thinks others will see it as a weakness
And the weakest are the easiest to break
I'm afraid to get hurt again
I can't handle becoming another target
Which is extremely ironic considering
I'm the one the aiming the gun
At the most genuine piece of my soul

Eyes pass me with a greeting
eyes hang still in the streets
and shopping lanes, eyes fly

around the earth
eyes are watching
around important bodies

alert eyes
that protect, willing
to restrict others

I defend myself
and ward them off
with the hand on my heart

an eye for an eye
beware, I look back
even when I'm not looking