amidst where I was lost,
you existed beneath the hue.
soon, I hope our lives will cross.
this time, I won't let go of you.

I reach my hands
Yearning for a soothing presence
And find my eyes
Looking back at me
Because I’m truly alone
But not lonely.

Suffer not fools  kindly
be straight in command of presence
stray not to soften a vent
let breath be guided to its own air

Yes I see these memories,
But was I really there?
Body and mind both there in time,
Though soul and thoughts, were where?

The past a story written down,
The pages in a book.
Photographs on camera roll,
The ones I never took.

Sinking to the ground,
With the surface turning wet,
I quickly found myself weeping,
Just moments before,
You questioned our compatibility,
You questioned how fragile our love is,
You suggested me finding someone better,
You suggested me to move on,
But it became clear,
You were questioning your strength,
You were questioning your heart,
You were questioning yourself for me,
I wiped off the tears,
Gathering all the strength,
Boosting up my trust for you,
I stood up,
Running towards you like crazy,
My eyes seeking your presence,
It is not over,
Not yet.

You said you were the one
You said that  you were it
But you were wrong
You claimed I needed to be with you
So I clung to you
I needed you to simply be
Because i thought that you were me
I thought living was inside my head
I thought performance was winning
And equated with existence.
Every part of you is not me
Though I've grown with you
And traced you back to the age of three
You are not me but merely a distraction
From seeing the ethereal before me
From living out the plays inside my head
From conforming to the reality that attention is not needed
Recognition is not imperative
Success is not vital
To live extraordinarily.
You are just a distraction from who I need to be
And as I fall and trip and stumble back into the pleasure of your continuous movie reel
I see the world and I see me and I remember the presence of who I am supposed to be
All in the moments that you are not there
And still I struggle
But I know now that you are not who I was destined to be,
And maybe I’m not special
Or all i thought I’d be
But with you, I’ll never reach my dreams
And I’ll never reach me
Until I hit pause on the remote
And eject this fantasy DVD.