[shadow:]
dear God,
lately,
i’ve forgotten how to be a person.
my hands feel too heavy.
my skin, too loud.
i keep failing at something
no one ever taught me.
my thoughts unravel like cheap thread,
and i keep trying to knot them quietly—
so no one sees the mess.
some days,
i’m just too tired of carrying
a soul that doesn’t sit right inside me.
like it was made for someone else.
– V
---
[light:]
"you keep track of all my sorrows.
you have collected all my tears in your bottle."
— psalm 56:8
"the Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit."
— psalm 34:18
"so do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
— isaiah 41:10
---
[shadow:]
i feel like a ghost,
pretending to deserve
food,
touch,
rest.
i move through the world like background noise.
i hurt when i’m supposed to hope.
and i run when i should reach.
i shrink from love,
because part of me still believes
i have to earn being seen.
– V
---
[light:]
"you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life."
— isaiah 43:4
"come to me, all who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest."
— matthew 11:28
"even to your old age and gray hairs I am he;
I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
— isaiah 46:4
---
[shadow:]
i can’t tell anymore
if the numbness is mercy,
or judgment—
or maybe just You
not knowing what to do with me.
– V
---
[light:]
"before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.
before you were born, I set you apart."
— jeremiah 1:5
---
[shadow:]
i don’t want to perform
my way into being lovable.
i don’t want to be worshiped.
i want to be held.
softly. quietly. without audition.
‘i don’t feel like a person today.’
but i still talked to You
for an hour
on the highway.
and even when i ran out of words—
You stayed.
– V
---
[light:]
"for I am convinced that neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us
from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
— romans 8:38–39
"my grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."
— 2 corinthians 12:9
[light whisper:]
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze."
— isaiah 43:2
Car rides with God hit different
