patterned love responses
spiraling outward from
the chest in search
of hearth and
hemlock to
soothe the brittle
bones of a
generation lost
to time.

I remember a feeling
once felt in
the spacious quality
of my life
in its infancy.

a 'coo' to my
mother--her face
beaming through
the unknown
harshness of life
yet to touch me.

father was out
working, adding
more and more
points of stress to
his life to provide
for the seeds
he sewed in the
soil of his youthful
ignorance.

adulthood snuck
up on me too and
now its too late to
go back.

these days
the only coup
that will save me
is the one
I perpetrate
against myself.
the one that
corrodes my beliefs
and illuminates
the extent of their
misconceptions about
the world and
what it means
to be me.

loyal are the lashes
that lick my flesh
serving the blood
that drips and
flows to the
soil of my own
wasted youth.

all I can do now
is look forward
to the unknown
that looms ahead;
terrifying and promising
failure and change
alike.

pray to your altars
and cry to the
invisible mute gods;

they will answer
in kind in the
laughter of children
playing upon
your spent life.

and so it goes--
life eats life
and mother's die
too.

use your voice
while you have
it--speak of clouds
and storms that
broke you, of winter
and the living
silence you've endured.

praise be to the
broken and the
weary of heart, for
in the breaking is
the great gift
of life

and what you
become after each
shattering is nothing
short of your
endless potential.

A call to brokenness
A call to arms

Recall our love
Recall our charms

We are not done
We are not through

I bleed for us
I bleed for you.

I try to do the best I can
Yet everything still falls apart
I end every day with the same problems
Working their way through my heart

Talk but you are distracted
We never find a solution
Stress poisoning the air around us
We keep breathing in pollution

Just keep ignoring the damage
Acting like we are fine
Blind to fact we are tiptoeing
Dangerously on a thin line

Me pretending that I don’t notice
How close we are to the edge
You don’t seem to mind the risk
Associated with the ledge

You listen
You attempt to understand
Why I live with such fear
But can’t change the speed you move at
Or switch into a lower gear

Don’t hear my worried murmurs
Cries fall upon ears rendered deaf
If you continue wheeling and dealing
Soon nothing will be left

Destroying me one piece at a time
As you throw your potential away
Hoping in time you will see the truth
Before it’s too late to stop decay

Sailing soft, frozen in time--
Sat on your chair where I could've sworn
I saw a past life regression flash along

Your face. Stuck there now,
I'm alone now and forever forth.
For years I stored half my cash into a box
without second thought
just to end up spending it all in six months.

that last crash erased all the academic pablum
that proved less required reading
  more distraction.

Just a border now,
head against an extending wall,
Witless and stonecold sober;

At ease with every unanswered craving
And coexisting with a life where nothing goes
   according to plan.

What do we know of tomorrow
See a balance between
positive checks and negative threats
So many potential pathways ahead
The sense of protecting self
To sharing one's wealth
Look after your health
Certainly certainty can't be free
Awaiting those with fools gold
Surprises to shine
A wave of collective debt
Do not spend which cannot be met
Benefits kept credit is swept
How far ahead do our actions prevent
the aftereffects of consuming the rest