'Place me to your skin,' Robert says
As I continue to contemplate.
'I'll give you the satisfaction
And the pleasure,
That he failed to give.'
My dear conscience begs me not to
While I asked her when I needed her, what did she do?
My heart silently weeps,
Tells me I will regret it.
Oh *******, what of it?
It's a little sting,
For an eternity of peace.
The devil of a mind that I have congratulates me.
Says that people like me deserve it,
People who are not good enough.
I am a disgrace honestly, it continues
Because if I can't be good enough for the people I love who choose to leave,
I'm not good enough for anybody at all,
Not even for my own ******* self.
I can't even prove to myself,
That further gives proof that I'm not good enough.
Gives validation
That I'm a waste of space, a failure
And an annoying piece of trash.
But I have to hide it though,
To keep what's remaining
So they don't slip away, you know.
I don't have the courage to end it all, sadly,
Til then, Robert will be my hidden company.

Apathy is rather dangerous
Isn’t it?
I just don’t care.
Not sure I want to care
I could do anything
Because it wouldn’t matter
If you don’t worry about others
You can do whatever you please
Danger, warnings, signs
Utterly meaningless!
Feels rather free.....
When emotion dies
When your chest grows cold
Heartbeat sickeningly steady
Breaths a bit too even

Do I run to pleasure?
Find myself a lovely vice
Intoxicating, sensual, invigorating
To awaken my spirit

Perhaps pain will do
Play with the little silver toy
The one with the sharp tip
Jarring and thrilling

Take some risks
Cause why the hell not?
Shock loved ones
Laugh at their concern for you

When the heart turns to stone
Anything, everything
Is fair game

So, what shall I do with mine tonight?

I recall our sweet rendezvous
When love was so blind
Passions erupted under moonlight
With our bodies entwined

My flesh against yours
Adrenaline pumping like crazy
Your lips foreign but intoxicating
This pleasure was so new to me

Meetings would take place here and there
Mostly in places so exciting and new
Those times I'd wait for you were torture
I'd like to think it was torture for you too

you grip the dove too tightly.
it comes apart in your hands,
white, pink, glistening, slippery.

we awake
in the burning midnight,
dionysian noise filling
the moonless sky.

she takes my hand
as we become one,
fill each other,
more than whole,
a pleasure synergised
through friction,

then
absence.

we awake
by an ocean of blood,
a crimson sky with no stars.

it has been thought
that luna longs for terra,
trapped in unconditional distance,
drifting further and further,
soon to be lost in the endless dark.

endless peace? love eternal?
or an obsolescent dream?
could a dove still fly without wings?