I want you to fix me

The way you gave me life
I want you to hear me

Behind all the lies
I want you to hold me

But guess I’m too old
I wanted to tell you

But fear is too cold
I want your approval

But that flame is dead
I want you to save me

Before I am too

I hate the weight of each heavy smile
Within my worries are starting to pile
Sirens going and the alarm in my head
Has me wishing to weep instead
But the last thing I intend is to cause concern
So I hold the flames in though I feel my chest burn
Walls slowly creeping inch by inch
Closing in from all sides but I refuse to flinch
I hate to make a sound that might draw attention
So my anxiety I do not dare mention
Fighting for air but on the surface remain still
Underneath skin fear is too powerful to ****
All I want is for laughter to be more than a facade
And to look into the mirror and not view a fraud
Please just let my happiness for once be genuinely real
My emotions a tiring charade that I will never truly feel

pretty eyes and endearing posture
a white dove following a ****** vulture
sweet and tender
no one better
pretty lips that i intend to kiss
for hours and hours, decades of flowers
sweet and tender
nobody better
pretty hands that grip my skin
wrap around my body like a ribbon
sweet and tender
no timeline better
pretty person, pretty words
i will work to earn your smirk