If you knew it wasn't me all along,
Why did you drag me by your side?
Why did you take me for granted?
Was it your intention to make me cry?
Because here I am,
Still wondering why,
What I ever did to you.
All I did was love you,
All I did was care.
I guess I cared too much,
Because now you're nowhere.
You'll forever be ingrained in my mind,
Footprints on my heart.
You've left your mark on me,
Changed who I am,
But now you're not here to see.
You don't get to see the new me,
The me that you helped form.
I learned from you,
And you sure as hell taught me a lot.
You taught me how to love,
Not just others but myself.
I'm not quite sure why you're still the topic of my writing,
For it's been over a year.
But not a day goes by where I don't think about you.
I miss you,
I miss us,
Whatever it may have been,
You can't tell me you didn't feel it too.

Your the first and last thing I see
Early mornings and sleepless nights.

My thoughts of you waver between something more and nothing more,
but I know my boundaries.

In an alternate universe where everything was finally right it would still be wrong.
Nothing is right if you're not there.

Your mind is filled with secrets of mine
Ones that I would wish no one to hear
Except you.

I know what you think of yourself
How you feel
it nowhere matches the picture I have of you in my mind

And in the end my ramblings may not make sense on paper
but I hope you know in my ordinary teenage life
You are anything but ordinary.

You are
The first delicate ray of sunshine
On a dreary Novembers’ day

You are
The pounding rush of adrenaline
Felt at a concert barrier

You are
The reassuring smile
Treasured in the midst of calamity

You are
The warm woollen blanket
Wrapped round my shoulders at night

You are
The butterflies found inside me
At the peak of a roller coaster

You are
The first birdsong
At the end of a sleepless night

You are
Every beauty in this world
To me.

I'm not attracted to people. Never have, never will. See I might get aroused; it's like my body is rejecting my decision it doesn't care it acts on it's own, but I'm fine with platonic relations. We don't gotta touch just cuddle and kiss and I'd be more than fine, but I'm a pleaser so ill subject myself to such acts, In accordance to their needs.
*** doesn't come to mind when out on dates unless it's been made clear that ****** activity will be in place. When *** comes to mind all I can think is "*** ugh no" The only ******* in my life comes from my partners needs. I'm their bf I'm supposed to cater to them. I don't mind it but I also don't like it.

I focus on your eyes
those two deep blue oceans
and wonder why you wave over me
yes, it's true that I'm imperfect
but are you any better?

You can't feed me servings of silence
like an unsolved piece of a puzzle
please move your stiff ghost occasionally
let it consume something other than
your tortured, self-consumed mind.

These walls keep you from leaving my sight,
yet why are they the closest from tumbling down?

Only prayers keep me sane anymore.
                             ...
Resting my eyes as you call out my name
you whisper it to the shadows within the clouds
but only because it's forever the name of a stranger.