I had a plan that at age twenty five i would end it all.

I had a plan that at age 25 i would take my life.

I had a plan that one day i wouldn't be here anymore.

I had a plan that one day i wouldn't exist.

I have a plan to live my life out.

I have a plan to love.

I have a plan to care.

I have a plan to dream.

I have a plan to soar.

One day i'll reach the end,
Right now is not the time.

Some strange arrangement
of molecules would make me?
When I am nothing more
than a temporary ripple in time and space
Just flickering impulses that,
allow me to perceive my
place.
Simply a mass of messy wires
swimming in a cocktail of chemicals
that accounts for all I feel?

So I say, can science explain:
The depths of a poets words,
the burning desire for artists to
explode color into stationary life,
or the soulful dance of a melody merging
with ones very being?

Yes, well then

What of the hidden glimmer of life
sparkling in each creation's eyes?
What of the realms of things unseen
and so often only felt
for the faintest moments?

Would recycled carbon on its own,
that has drifted for eons, somehow
rearrange to form life?
Would billions of chaotically
                                    colliding particles
embrace so harmoniously that
the overly comedic conditions for life
would so seamlessly come together
that at this very moment
you and I,
two beings of impossible odds
could have our paths combine
that I could write these words
that they could wander there way to you

The incumbent village idiot would be alarmed by my efforts, as he'd most likely perceive them as ones attempting to dethrone him.

[16:11, 8/22/2019] Me: Why are we doing this tbh. Not that it's bad, There's not a lot of things I'd rather do

[16:11, 8/22/2019] You: I don't know
[16:11, 8/22/2019] You: I guess we are just trying to find ways to be happy?
[16:11, 8/22/2019] You: and like. It's intriguing

[16:12, 8/22/2019] Me: As long as we'll stay together, like, that we're not out there alone, I'll be happy

[16:12, 8/22/2019] You: I feel the same, because we can get through it together
[16:12, 8/22/2019] You: as long as we are together, I will be okay and happy

[16:13, 8/22/2019] Me: It'll be okay, probably

[16:13, 8/22/2019] You: it will be

plan for the future
live in the moment
learn from the past
but don't dwell on it

be aware of your thoughts
don't let them control you
get out your mind
but don't lose it

life is pain
pain is temporary
death is forever
make it glorious

Afterwards, I was really glad you stayed with me that hour.
We were talking, chatting, like normal teens.
But I know we are different of all of those.
Suddenly we were discussing a plan to run away together.
We barely know eachother,
But it's so close.
Let's run away and never come back

I wonder if they have a plan for me,
I bet they thought I'd make big change
Instead of spending my time dancing in the rain.
They probably had a career in mind
With a golden etched name plate
Let me write their map and see
If I have the steps straight.

Go to school and get good grades
To pay a lot to school some more
To jump out into a world they didn't prepare me for.
Nobody wants my degree, the market's flooding.
It's not about what I know, who I know is no one.
Remember you're doing this for the money,
You're doing this for the security
And they're ready to own you for it.

It's like seeing a sign that says chips for shots
I'd rather hold my pride than give in to a drop
I'd help break the bar for that kind of dealing
It just shows how quick heroes turn to villains
Depending the eyes you see through
In the distance of all of that chaos
There's a voice in the back of my head yelling,
"Just be you"