My momma hates fruit
She always said
She’d never take a bite
She’d rather be dead

But since she had medicine
A serotonin pill,
She said she likes the berries
That she always had and will

One pill
Panic attack stops
Two pills
Anxiety goes
Three pills
I am high up in the clouds
Four pills
Who am I?

I have bawled and shouted
stamped my feet
blamed God my mother
AND the universe
but I'm still here
spoilt petulant little spec
on a blue green planet
infinity never heard me
or gave a ****
about a small ape like creature
spinning around
and around
at a thousand miles an hour
going nowhere
it's time to take
the bitter little pill
and just get on with it

Its like I can't get your face
out of my head
its like you haunt me ,
it haunts me
how you violated me
in your bed
naked
without ever caring
to listen to my no's!!

While having to go about  the next day,
like nothing else happened
that it had occurred yet again,
although this time
it had left its mark on my  face
that I am still battling all  these months later.

A reminder to myself
to not trust easily anymore!
To NEVER  Allow  Any "MAN" to ever disgrace me again,
to never allow anyone to ever take advantage of me,
and my kindness again!
To never allow myself to hookup with someone again!
To never ever doubt myself
And to always listen to myself!

So as I see your face in my mind
I curse at you,
and all of the pain that you have given me,
and all of its sorrow.

because it hurts so so deeply
and the fear carasses  at my bones

cocktail of pills
flutes of smoke
run away baby let's just go
on a journey, earning our stripes
on a journey, to be us in spite
of all of the backlash, never returning to the past
the fruitful future is sweeter than the blooming flowers
stay with me please, just an hour
serotonin pumping, my heart jumping
out of my chest, kiss you on your neck
run away baby
run away again
into the green, grounded like trees
our roots intertwine, your soul is divine
run away baby
run away with your every time