My heart in a whirlwind
Caught in a bind
Pieces of me scattered
No where to find

c.m.l.

you are not purely
made up of
sunflowers and soft
vanilla candles.
nor are you purely
made up of
stardust and poetry.
you're made up of
thorns and bitter tastes.
you're made up of
thunderstorms and
fractured words
too.

you are not the thorns
that leave your lovers
bleeding.
you are not the
sunflowers growing
in your head.
you are everything in between.
you are everything all at once.

I think the sweetest intimacy
isn't the ******* behind your curtain when the sunlight fades
but when I unravel all of the pieces,
stuck to me for twenty years
when you witness the uninviting parts of me
and just as I begin to feel shame come over me
you whisper "Come here, your scars are my favorite part of you"
sometimes I still struggle to see my heart as more than a bruised and beaten burden beating in my chest
but you look at me like it's the first time your eyes have seen sunlight in years
I find my place in-between your arms, passing time with you

I am learning to bloom without seeking admiration
the praises of my peers don't affect the rate of my growth
I'm filling myself up with my own love
freeing myself of the weight of comparison
and everytime I fall apart
I get a new chance to rearrange my pieces
I have dug my way out of the holes that tried to bury me
I am the architect of my own life
and I am growing for myself
slow progress is still progress
I may be a late bloomer but wait until you see me flourish

I am an empty seat waiting to be filled.
All I want is to be seen and claimed,
Only to be released
Once a better seat is open.
In another life,
You and I,
We sat here for forever.
I gave you support,
And you stayed on me for comfort –
And that was fine with me.


I am the empty seat at the table,
Glanced over, and never heard from.
Louder voices grasp your attention,
While I’m squeaking out for your affection.
The server reaches over me,
You place your bag on me,
Hang your coat on me,
Place your feet on me,
And never before have I felt so important
So please get comfortable
And stay here with me.

I am the empty seat,
Unclaimed and forgotten.
Maybe it was my position or over-eagerness
That repelled you on to the other chairs around.
But at least I can share in the moment –
Quiet beside the table –
And pretend like you wanted me there.

I am your favorite empty chair.
The building is being torn down;
The chairs are being pawned off.
I wait to hear if you want me,
But before long, I’m thrown among the pieces of my friends
And wait until that glorious moment
I’m no longer an empty chair.