there was a little voice in my head
that grew and grew and grew
until the deafening roar blocked out everything else
it screamed to stay in my dorm
don't talk to anybody
no one will like you
so don't try
for a while I listened to the voice
I stayed inside
and I barely engaged in social situations
but I got tired of the deafening roar
it was holding me back
and I'm having none of that
I study in the library
I go to events
I talk to my peers
and I participate in class
that deafening roar slowly but surely
quieted down
I can still hear its faint voice
but no longer will I be held back
due to my anxieties
I want friends
and I want to be social
so friends I will have
and social I will be

When you wake up tomorrow
if I am not around, will you miss me?
If you never see me again
how much of a void will I leave in our heart?
Will you know how much I loved you?
will you truly know how much I cared?
nothing in this world mattered to me
more than being my best for you
I loved you with a pure love
that sprang up from a flawed heart
from within a flawed man
but my love for you was never flawed
But now this great gulf divides us
and it keeps getting wider
will I ever be able to reach you
to tell you one more time
that I truly love you
that I truly care
How I wish I could turn back time
if only I could start again
if only I could go back to the start
I would make it count
But what’s the point in worrying
about what can’t be changed?
I’ve already lived my life
If you could call it ‘living’

Now the only thing l can do
is to offer you the only gift I can
and that is my absence
hope it will bring you joy

Bend like bamboo,
Brittle people break.

Resist yet be resilient,
Persevere, yet,

With purpose.

take it day by day
there will be ups and downs
but soon enough there'll be more ups than downs
life gets better day by day
one day might be low and sad
you might contemplate death
then the next day it will be a joy to live
so excited to do things and see people
take it day by day
things will change
it will get better
you just have to make through each day

Engulfed in flames
The inferno consumes me
Dancing across my body
In a dangerous ballet

My skin
Charred and melting
As I incinerate
Until I am nothing more
Than a pile of ashes

But suddenly
I rise
Up from the ashes
Not letting anything hinder me

You ask me how I rise
How I continue in the wake of destruction
Persist when death and decay may reign in ash around me
Persevere when the soil is blistered and inflamed
Begin again even when I may be brittle and burned
I rise because I must

i watched her extinguish
one of the candles
with dainty fingertips
while i hastily blew
the other one out
with a puff of cheeks
trying to be helpful
but getting it wrong
seeing what i had done
she scalded me playfully
deep down meaning it
telling how a candle
should never be put out
in that way

for blowing it out risks
expelling the positivity
all of the happiness
that its burning
had built up for those
who first lit that wick
bathing in the glow
of its healing light
that flickering flame
that keeps our shadows
dancing together
arm in arm
even if we simply
remain wrapped up
sat side by side

i don't believe
her theory necessarily
but i am left wondering
of all the candles
i have ever blown out
birthday celebrations
cosy evenings in
candle-lit meals
if what she says is true
i can't help but think
about those moments
of happiness and joy
that i have wasted
simply blown away
with a vacant breath
and an unwitting mind

Every Action
A reaction
Sick of settling
An aversion to average
Always meddling
Being below average
Full potential
At arms reach
All mental
No day at the beach
What's stopping me
But me?
Getting older
Wiser
I think.
I hope
All my knowledge
What for?
If I don't act
Rat!
Even rats act-
Anything for the cheese
Dreams do come true
Can I be rich please?
Can I get a blues clue?
Life's a risk
Don't know when or how
Your day will come.
In the meantime time
***.

I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
I miss you so much
It makes me feel as fragile as a tissue

That would tear from the weight of my tears
That shed the pain of my love
And release my deepest fears

That allow the ability
To persevere.