let it wash us away
like the floods of the new age
**** all the mistakes
leave only perfection
all true honesties
that leave their residues of purity
right down the leg
of each other
your body cries
tears of merriment

can i be one of the elite pretty too?
there are an apex species,
and they come in so many wonderful forms.
they don't have to crush their jaws together
or **** in their bellies or fix their hair
when a camera is staring them down.
they smile and a million people smile back,
but less brightly than them.
they have a ticket to the highest floor of the building
in the pockets of their jeans that just fit them nicely.
so easy to love and want and crave,
and all for a construction of our own.

The only time I'm not stressed
Is when I've worked myself past the point of breaking

Being too tired to feel is my comfort zone
I feel so at home in running around
I don't rest while I sleep
Instead to-do lists and unfinished problems are scripted into my dreams
Using the backs of my eyelids as a whiteboard for tomorrow's tasks

I can't tell if this constant state of movement is Newton's Law
Or a feable attempt to be enough--for no one but myself

I second guess each right answer, every step forward
My thoughts get a racetrack in lieu of a bed

I know this isn't normal
So imagine what I'd do to be in the moment I'm living
Instead of the somewhere else I always am

If you wanna know me,
Spend time with me don't judge me,
We all make mistakes,
But our mistakes doesn't define us,
It just shows we are humans,
If we don't **** up we can't learn,
Never think ******* up means you're a **** up,
There's no such thing as a perfect person.

Perfection doesn't exist,
Trying to be perfect will **** you faster,
If they don't accept you for you that's on them,
You are special the way god made you,
Don't allow nobody to change you,
You're unique in your own way.

I saw some things in myself I didn't like,
I then decided to change my ways,
Nobody made me change,
I made the changes within myself,
If you don't like what you seeing,
Change what you see within yourself.

i want to rip off my own skin

piece by piece

and stitch it back together

so that it matches hers


i want to carve my cries

into each and every bone

filing away at myself

until I fit her frame


i want to cut and cut and cut

slashing down to my core

until there is only enough fat

to mold myself into her shape


i want to scrape off my

STUPID

*******

FACE

erasing every feature

until my very essence has disappeared

and i

LOOK

LIKE

HER


her

the ever changing image of beauty

the elusive illusion of perfection


the woman we all strive to be

the woman

the image

the ideal

the ideal that not even she herself can attain