Summer breeze coasting through the trees
Wind chimes remind me
I've had better times
But here I am again
******,
Because I can't sleep peacefully
Mary Jane hides the worst in me

As I shut my eyes,
I only see
Darkness,
Liquid black
Like the color of my soul
I was doing so well you see

Clean
Sober
Running
Yoga

But I had a crack in my shield
And the nightmares came back
Brutally vengeful
I only had my screams to keep me company

3 hours, and one very hot shower later
And I'm back,
Contemplating life on the patio
Flicking a lighter
Breathing deep
Letting the smoke seep
Back into my system

*****
High
Still
Weak

It's a vicious cycle
Recovering from memories

My nightmare waits for me back home
2 hours and 12 minutes away
I can't put it off any longer
Just thinking about him makes me anxious
And terribly sad
Because people who tell you they love you
Shouldn't hurt you
They shouldn't force and rip their way inside of you
Until everything burns
Make no mistake
Tears don't blur the violence
Soap never disinfects the shame of silence

I think I should be over it by now
Honestly, **** happens
People get ***** every day
Anyone who tells you different is a liar
Or perhaps just blind
Either way,
I don't need prayers
I don't need sympathy
I probably need a **** lobotomy
Or maybe just a clean slate

So I continue to breathe
One breath at a time
While my eyes gradually drift close

I am alive
But parts of me are dead
I
    Am
            Not
                    Broken
But even Wonder Woman needs a day off

© 2014 Peach

Wake up to reality
Seems like I’ve got an affinity
For playing with your center of gravity
Can I paint your mental walls red?
Hop on a plane just to find myself in your bed
Possible....
Some might even say probable
But only if you bow down
To worship my invisible crown
Misled, misread but still a thoroughbred
Undeniably ready to be ridden
There are no misgivings
You want vivd?
Tie me up in ribbons
Enjoy my only submission

© 2014 Peach

This love is so restless
It's making us reckless
99.9% of the time
Oh but baby you're mine...you're mine

We sip our way into the wee hours of day
Drinking every bit of champagne
Hoping to sustain
Dying embers of the flame
Take me back to the night we missed our flight
We were lying in the sand
Playing games of naked twister unplanned
Every demand was issued like a command
Call me crazy but I loved each reprimand

One day maybe
I'll be your leading lady
Until then, baby don't call me baby
I lost my soul somewhere down in Haiti
Love me like crazy

I was losing the fight
Holding tight to the edges of fragile delight
Moaning between every bite
You had me trembling at the increase
Racing fast like lightening towards release
Prime and ready to please
But only if you please
My only goal is to appease
Raising the heat by degrees
Wearing what's left of my chemise
I'm far from a trainee,
A tease waiting anxiously on my knees

One day maybe
I'll be your leading lady
Until then, baby don't call me baby
I lost my soul somewhere down in Haiti
Love me like crazy

Love me like crazy...

© 2014 Peach

I prefer classical music
On days when I'm feeling numb
The exquisiteness of it all
Breathes fire into my soul
Slowly bringing me back
From an unending abyss
Until I feel almost human again

There are times
When I seem to be consumed
By an utter sadness
That not even I can write about

Should I explain?

I like to light cigarettes
Only to watch them burn away
Gradually turning into bits of ash
I miss their taste
And it's only then that I realize
That I don't drink enough
It's another weakness I'm not allowed

These days,
Pride seems to be my only salvation
Or perhaps it's stubbornness
A sheer force of will to get through the day

Either way,
Dreams remain pain filled
Life is a constant fight against the bleak
And I break mirrors every day
Cracking my reflection with ease
To fragment this forced smile
It's a necessary evil...
To hide everything that I feel
Because surviving is the only thing that matters

To be honest,
Happiness is something I can't touch
An emotion that I can't quite fathom
Though I can't seem to stop trying

Every jungle needs a queen
I'll be ****** if it isn't me

© 2014 Peach

My own darkness terrifies me,
I am right to be afraid
For there is nothing...
Absolutely nothing,
That I wouldn't do
To avoid this unforgiving hell

© 2014 Peach

I dreamed of tomorrow
But chased my yesterday
I wear my heart like a dried ink stain
Black and misshapen
I like to pretend it didn't happen
Some things bring it all back
Memories fatally attack
A scent
A stray thought
Frozen on the floor
Trembling in knots
Perhaps I really am that *****
I know not when I became filled with such rot

© 2014 Peach

I remember much
Too much it would seem
But some things are better burned
Others perhaps buried…
Somewhere along that forgotten highway
But still,
As the images continue to flicker
There are foul tastes
Disguised underneath all the splendor
Hidden amongst carefree smiles
Deeper than any smoldering look
Lies the darker truth
Built to be whispered ever so slowly
Against disbelieving lips

By all means,
Tell me my own story
You seem to do it so well
I’m sure you’ll be singing so sweetly in hell

© 2014 Peach