I guess it is a relief to see you
Again, my old friend. Cloaked, your head of blue,
You wander among the graves like fireflies,
Absolute darkness, jittering night skies.  
It never seems to fail to startle my
Child-like sensation of life passing by.
Orderly rows, rigid cartridge paper,
Ink and tax reports, functions to cater.
Misanthropic, naïve, idealistic
Degenerative and narcissistic,
Paranoid, poisonous, parasitic
Fear giver. Fear receiver. Entropic
Skeleton, dancing in caustic acid,
Looking on. A quiet, forlorn Aphid.

privacy is really a thing of history
nowadays it's all up there like a gallery
even when i'm alone there's always eyes
it's exhausting putting on such a disguise
when the lights are off and blinds are closed
it would be fine to be blind i suppose
glancing at my back like there's a ghost
staring at every single tweet i post
no such thing as being invisible
still just a student dodging the principal
some of you might say i'm just paranoid
nah i'm just worried about my word choice
twisted voices can make terrible noises
life is a bumpy ride and i'm getting nauseous

I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be left alone. My thoughts drip too deep to the blackness below. Am I really alive or just existing? My view is consistently, painfully twisting. Late at night too anxious to sleep, unwelcoming images start to creep.

I wonder why I feel this thick weight sinking my joy into a sea of fear.
Pending destruction is near, creeping behind my calmed motion.
I fear


that if i love, it'll be stripped away
Drowned
Distorted
Left to decay.

I don't think I can feel that again...

So maybe that's why I feel so anxious.

Love too hard and it breaks the foundation, love too soft and it floats away...

I can't take this, is what I want to say...but I know I might not ever get my way.

I love hard, crush hard, feel hard emotions...a battle in my head filled with so much commotion.

A battle, a war between 100 of me, how...

I wonder why I feel so sick when I talk to him now.

The ship is strong, but the sailer is scared of waves

Be still my beating heart, for I need you to behave.

I am naturally very paranoid.  
Little things scare me and make me fear for my life.  
I live life unreasonably.  And always on edge.  
A twig snap in the dark or maybe a shadow moves.  
I will think I am being followed or stalked.  
What is unknown is the scariest of all
I am naturally paranoid and I hate always living on the
Edge.

I return once again
To my trusty pen
To pent out the storms
That brew deep within

But this time I find
I haven’t a rhyme
To execute my words
And represent my mind

So now there’s a worry
And some need to hurry
To prove that I feel
But feelings are blurry

Instead, I panic
My writing’s quite manic
Forgetting the real world
And all that’s pragmatic

Artificial hinderance
To prevent the ignorance
Is something i brew
My mind is carnivorous