mirror on the wall reflects my pain
it is a witness of my harsh reality
the pain i romanticized about someone
is a fake reflected image of my thoughts
the pain i never wished to tear my flesh
is the real persona i try to hide

I was always on my own
even when i was deserted by you
for months, your silence haunted me
and a battle continued to rage in my heart
as i set out to seek the answers-
"are you there? are you alive?"
that futile simmer turned gray
which was meant to be full of love
i held meetings in my mind
my heart was asking to believe you
but my mind concluded you betrayed me

this affair was never fated to turn into love
something that started under the moon and stars
something that was ill fated from beginning
now who should i blame? you or me?
i carried us up the summit
but you and i were both sick
the clouds were turning gray
and everything began to disappear in the haze
the castles we built, the promises we made
turned out to be a mirage in my mind
you never meant a thing
i was a tool to fulfill your greed
a savior in times of crisis but you forgot about me
i longed for your love whole summer
even when i knew i was a prey

Here in this suffering, this crucible womb,
The known gods falter, their altars go blind.
Each creed, once golden, now echoes of doom,
Are stripped by the blaze of a self left behind.

The fire, a trickster, conjured by me,
Fed on illusions, I named as my truth,
Burned every surety, scorched every plea,
And laughed in the voice of my long-lost youth.

Beliefs like paper, curled in despair,
Whispered of meaning as smoke drew near;
No prayer could escape, no breath of air,
Only silence now, and the sting of fear.

Oh, sacred pyre, dark alchemist flame,
You steal without mercy, without regret.
Yet in your furnace, I learn my name,
One I had buried, one I’d forget.

Entombed in ash, no breath, no form,
Not dead, but held in the hush of becoming.
This, the still of the spiral storm,
Where soul sheds skin and blood stops drumming.

And then...

In the hush, a tremor, soft as thought.
From soot, from ruin, from what was unmade,
A flicker, a shimmer, a heartbeat caught,
A wing unfolds in the charcoal shade.

Phoenix, I rise, raw, unmasked, untried,
No longer chained to the truths I knew.
From the furnace of lies and the self that died,
Emerges a being fierce and new.

More beautiful now for the burn I bore,
More sovereign now for the faith I lost,
For to rise is not to be as before,
But to bear the bloom that survived the cost.

Inside me, starlightdust descends,
A gentle glow that never ends.
But as it gathers, thick and deep,
It fills my soul, I start to weep.

The weight of stars, so cold, so bright,
It pulls me down into the night.
Until I drown in endless glow,
Lost in pain I cannot show.

Curtains half closed
Maybe half open
Dependent on the look
Of the environment

It never happened quiet
Just as a thunderstorm
Trying to be a breeze
You made me feel

A bulb flashing light
Powering with full might
Why is it always a maybe
Or a could've or should've

But never a genuine "would've"
Torn within the darkness of the light
The last breath before a time
Tainted red-

You wished, you prayed
But really never fixed the light
That wasn't at a regular volt
Just a overworked circuit

When all I wanted was peace.