Tuck it in your waistband
Use her charger
Now the tops full of sand
Clogged, pull harder

Stash is dry
but that’s ok
Grandma will give you one of hers anyway
Hold it under your tongue
Don’t let momma smell your breath
They only approve cause it prevents my death

See my knees?
can’t you tell?
There’s not a thing
that when I fell
I should have hit it,
dads loudest yell.

Take one rib from me
But you would never
Take the one that’s hurting me
Because you want a better one
Not only floating and lost
but painfully

So much losses had me losing faith,
so much setbacks had me doubting if there's ever going to be a way,
so much potential seems driven away,
so much efforts that never yielded to gain,
so many struggles with no success attained.
But we can't give up just because we fail, right?
For what's faith without loss? What's breakthrough without setbacks?
What's potential if there isn't a trial?
What's success with no stories of struggles?
It doesn't fit, so I will iterate again.
Hopefully, God will be on my side.

for who i am right now,
i'm but the result of someone's monstrous generosity
first they would show you the bright colors
and later sink their teeth into your skin
was it a cactus hidden among the flowers?
or was it a snake in the lake?
this poet couldn't differentiate as
they both share their thorn and fangs with you
and for so long, i tried to make sense of it all
only to realize i was a passing object you never needed

two years ago, on Christmas eve,
i made an appeal and stood in your court
i asked you to revoke my status-
from a stranger to a lover, or friends who love each other
but you declared me guilty
and sent your troops, with cannons aimed at my gate
if you had asked me, "will you survive?"
my answer would've been a big no
but here i am writing this one final ode
because i finally survived in that war

sitting by the grave of our love affair
lavender fields are now left barren
echoes of your voice lingers in the hall
and words i penned start to haunt

3 years gone by in blink of an eye
winter nights and fog touching the ground
blurred my periphery, left no space for closure
can someone tell me for how long should i mourn?