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JL Mar 2018
Skin pale as first snow fall.
You lay silent.
Your eyes wide open but see nothing.
The line has been crossed.
Turning back is not an option.
Arms flail while cold steel is passed hand in hand.
So much noise, but you hear nothing.
You danced and danced, but the song is about to be over.
You played with the fun demons and lost.
The ride is never free, you will pay dearly.
You will know nothing for this is the end.
But they will all know you.
The real you.
Heidi Franke Mar 2018
The day after your
death it snowed again. I thought it was spring.
The cosmos created crystals of water as it received you.
Welcomed as another star
to the vastness we here
on earth can not know
but with our feeble telescopes.

This day after your death
I want to protect anyone else
from leaving. I want to cling to
every thing I know. Yet my tears
are evidence of everything I do not
understand and never will. You are the mystery
now John, my brother.

My mind will not
absorb your death as readily as my heart.
My heart seems to hold and let go
because it needs to, in order to survive.
My mind wants to greet my heart
but it just keeps snowing. Dreams
of despair.

You lived your recovery
like a man none other that I have seen. Lend us your strength, courage and wisdom
while in our sorrow. Fortune allowed us to witness
all your strengths.

You shared your weaknesses
so readily. I am stronger because of you.

If you are there please comfort those who have less strength. You were a pillar for so many. We still want to lean on you.
I feel so weak now
the day after your death.
Never thought i would cry over a girl
Never thought i should
Never thought i could
Never thought she would hurt me
Never thought she tear my heart out
Never thought i would take my blades back up to the bathroom
Never thought suicide would cross my mind again
Never thought that i was going to **** myself
Never thought i would be here again with my blades
Never thought i would cut again
Never thought i would overdose again
Its over
Katie Parsons Feb 2018
The sounds of church bells and the pleas of pastors saying "do not fear for God is near" echoes in my ears as i watch my father leave his temple to walk with the almighty.
The warmth of his hands began to fade into cold, and lifeless limbs i did not recognize.
Lingering sounds of a flat line accompanied by your voice of despair to let my father go.
That was when the first few petals fell.

Your vivacious smile accompanied by your long midnight hair was buried within the garden under the dead apple tree. 
The whispers of silence were deafining to your ears as you wet your pillows with the taste of brandy on your lips and the black streaks ran down your cheeks.
The once so full flower was beginning to thin. 
My hands turned cold as yours pulled away into those of another who was not my father. 
A rose petal fell. 

Time ceases to stop or slow down except when we are feeling melancholy.
But time with you was like taking roses off of a thorny bush with your bare hands; delicate and painful.
Just like you and i.
A child was left for the elders, but little did they know, she was an old soul.
I saw the sadness projecting through your eyes as you were trampled by this concept we call life.
I attempted to be of aid to you mother, but the demons wouldn't let go.
Little did i know your demons could wither a flower.

White oleander ran through your veins as you put those little white pills into your mouth.
A rose petal fell.
Then the day came where you were flying high. The sounds of white noise and tear drops hitting my skin haunt my dreams as i learned of the rose being taken away from me.
But did you know mother?
Did you forsee the quick end to a great future?
I did not; however, i knew there was not going to be much of a story to tell if you did not stop playing with the thorns.
But like a flower, you were delicate.
I guess that is where i get it from.
With every beautiful flower comes a root.
The last rose petal fell.

All that is left is a seed and thorns.
But to make a new flower, you only need the seeds.
A rose is like a Phoenix; the flower dies, but the seeds are reborn.
You left me with a seed of your life that i can use to continue to blossom into a beautiful rose like you.
And one day, my petals too will fall and wither. 
But my flower wont be made weak with thorns, but strong with them.
The thorns i have will be my story even as my thorns watch my petals fall to the cold damp soil that is my pillow.
Every petal falling is a different ending.
Your rose died with you.
Just like my fathers died with him.
But my petals wont fall.
My petals will one day wither to only be replanted again.
AD Snail Feb 2018
Drowning in a muddy mind,
So high in the sky;
That I could feel the clouds.

Spinning around,
Feeling like I could take on the world.
Grinning like a mad dog,
Will I inject another shot of Mr. Cloud Nine.

He takes my hand and spins me around,
We're moving to the beat, doing the tango.

He promise sweet nothings,
Makes me feel a sense of alive,
I feel so empowered with him by my side.

He offers me his cigar,
I take it knowing I'm already too far gone,
Mr. Cloud Nine is my sweetheart,
He promises to never let me go.
Dakota J Dawson Feb 2018
A white porcelain
Porcupine

Sits atop
The stool

Beside a resting
Toilet and silent sink

Drains are clogged
Must be the fog

Airing up
Inside the room

Thick and heavy
Full of cream

Like a hot
French Pastry

Soap melts
Into a fine cappuccino

Skin is soft
Not smooth

Rugged
Tired of the water's touch

Lips separated
Leaking drool

An earlier soft drink
Makes its appearance

Sake makes my soul
Gold and sublime

A snowball I received
To the face

Magical cocktail
Island tragedy

In Paris
Couped up

Stuck in a bathroom
Head bobbing

Up
And Down

Swaying
Side to side

Direction unchosen
Ears sweetened

By a tranquil
Heavenly sound

A song
Heartfelt poem

Layne's voice
Shouting from the void

Guitar strings
Beats of a drum

Native quotas
Unremembered

Just peace
No hate

Possible gain
***** to be given

Snowflakes
Fall upon my brow

Hissing in the heat
Chilling a man-made sea

Fingers tingle
Fabricating a jingle

Eyes swell
Blochted art on the walls

Feet numb
Deciding to stick around

Like a sore gum
Withered with gin

My armor
Solid arms

Continue to fall
Down with my divinity

I am Lucifer
Shining meteor of false hope

Chest heaves
I begin to grieve

Hope for a dawn
Pray to hear a new song

But here he comes
I am bleeding

Shaken by the storm
Overcome

Laughter
And crying

This means
I am dying

But,
Is the time right?
Azuraine Feb 2018
I know the exact moments that you break through, and you are with me . I always love you for that.
I feel you totally at times and am overwhelmed in so many wonderful ways.I  really love you for that.
Pain wasn’t something you dealt . You were a love dealer ...I completely loved you for that .
I hate that you are gone still but I know you needed to go to be free .
I just don’t want to be free of you .
I still love you... even with that.
Jey Blu Jan 2018
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my sister lies in a hospital bed after a suicide attempt.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
yesterday i was at the mall while my sister was rushed to the er.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she swallowed a bottle of pills yesterday to try to make the hurt go away.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
her heart rate went down too low.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she needed me when i wasn't there.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my nightmares have become a reality.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she's not dead, but she isn't alive.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the demons lurk in her eyes and i want them gone as much as she does.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she looked so pale with the charcoal staining her tongue black.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i sit here with a blade and consider breaking my promise.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i continue to repeat these lines.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
maybe it's a mantra, but it feels like my last words.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i want her back home.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the desperation in my soul begins to surface.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
come home soon squish.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
otherwise i might join you in that hospital bed.
She's out of danger and healthy enough for now. But the mental hospital isn't home.
Sierra Earle Jan 2018
Sitting in circles counting our dimes
Holding tiny pieces of plastic close
To my heart, I say slow
To my mind, I say keep racing
We must hope to stumble upon a solution
We must hope

But these are quite hard times
And there is no face not morose
With my heart, I weep
With my mind, I catastrophize
Everything is really that terrible
It truly is

When one is so poor to dwell upon crimes
Little that is gained used to overdose
And I hope my heart stops beating
And I hope my mind quits thinking
This is not solving any problems
Tragedy of pauper
(When you sell the drugs to save yourself but end up killing urself)
Janie Elizabeth Dec 2017
They are under my skin.
They are everywhere.
How can I make this end?!
They slowly disappear.

The insects leave me be.
All light fades to black.
I wake up and a light I see.
On a gurney, memories I like.

In the ambulance I can't breathe.
I lose feeling of my body.
I feel my soul get dragged beneath.
Darkness consumes me.

I feel numb inside and feel doubt.
Hours pass until I see light.
Days, I was missing, and no way out.
Drugged but I won the fight.
I was drugged at 14, I had hallucinations and seizures from it. my heart stopped on the way to the hospital 3 different times. it was the worst experience of my life
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