Forgive the rough edge of my words
they were born in the heat of a breaking heart.
I don’t need you to tell me it’s done;
I’ve seen the cracks widening,
heard the silence growing louder than our laughter.
The fire has been dimming for a long while,
the touch between us turning to stone,
the moments of wild devotion
fading like old paint in the rain.
Now I wear the emptiness like a badge,
my hands remembering
what they can no longer hold,
my body locked in rust,
my soul aching for the ways you once
turned me into a living flame.
And I miss you
not only your mouth,
but the magic it spoke
in the language only lovers know.

Lost; blinded by the sands of time
Holding on to a dream that has died
I look to you with the eyes of a child
There’s a storm raging deep inside
I feel the wind whispering into my eyes
Holding back all the tears I could cry
Looking back to the past
I know I have another chance

Try to start once again
New Life; To reach for the sky
I’m learning to fly; not just getting by this time
New Life

I’ve climbed the mountains of hope
Trying hard; Not to stumble but cope
At the top; looking out on the earth
Standing high; It’s the day of my birth
Life in this world can be bitter and dry
You must strive to keep passion alive
Don’t live life in a trance
You must take another chance

Try to start once again
New Life; To reach for the sky
I’m learning to fly; not just getting by this time
New Life

How do you come to hate,
The ones you loved?
You don't.
They tend to turn on you,
Either that,
Or they weren't real at all.
I forsake any shard of regret I had,
From leaving you,
I regret any feeling I had,
From loving you.
If anyone lost here,
It was you.
Because you'll fall back into emptiness,
Trying to replace it with people,
But I, I will not.
I'll continue to cradle my own light,
Which you came so close to taking.
I'm done sacrificing pieces of me,
In order to receive nothing.

my heart still skips a beat
when you send a message,
my phone goes beep beep.

          we're just friends now,
          why does my heart miss beats
          when i hear your beeps?

                  why am i not over you?
                  why can't i stop,
                  stop feeling...

                           feelings so strong, like a thumb
                           hovering over
                                    your name.

I’ve never been good at asking for what I need

when I do, I fight myself every step of the way

it doesn’t seem to come out right—
or maybe I just don’t say the right words

maybe I’m not being seen or heard

is there a misunderstanding,
or do I feel misunderstood?

I don’t know—
maybe it’s all in my head

what I do know is that I don’t have the energy
to fight to be seen

maybe I’m just being dramatic

maybe I feel rejected

I don’t know if that’s sensitivity, or if my feelings are actually valid

I feel a missed bid for connection

I feel as if I am giving more than I am receiving

at times, it feels as if there’s no reciprocity

I desire, want, and need
to not feel so alone with another human being

I don’t know if I’m being irrational with this,
or dismissive to myself

I have an intense want to avoid and withdraw

I don’t know if I’m just being sensitive

I just wanted ten minutes of time, and it seems as if there’s no time at all

I expect myself from others
and let myself down when I don’t receive that

maybe I have unrealistic expectations of others

maybe I am asking for too much

maybe I am just being sensitive.

Curiosity can **** you, and a curious mind is poisonous for the human mind to give you a half-death.

Those pent-up resentments                                                      ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
quickly turn into hate,                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
soon all your comments                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                              
become heated debates                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­                 
A once loving glance                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
has turned into a glare                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­       
Sometimes love can't be
repaired                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Thick tension can be cut by a
knife                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
as we blame each other for our
lives                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                     
  The words I hate you, hang in the
  air,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  killing the love that was once
  there                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
We sleep with our backs turned at night,                                                        
                                                                 ­                                                 
get up before the other to avoid a
fight                                                        
                                                                ­                                  
Everything's wrong, nothing's
right                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                              
praying God will show us the light                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                 
 The distance between us grows on &
on                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
we turn down the stereo playing our song                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Your wedding ring lies on the nightstand,                                                      ­                
                                                                ­                                                 
 and mine is no longer there on my
  hand                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                            
You're eating fast food all by
yourself.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                   
  you know they're talking to someone
   else                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                    
There are times life is just not
fair,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
and sometimes love can't be repaired

I once thought I was crazy
I doubted you were even real
I thought I was in a psych ward once
But reality has been revealed

I wasn't in a ****** bin
You and I had really met
And you did everything I thought
Now you claim that you regret

You beg for my forgiveness now
You say just one more try
But you made me think I was crazy
You made me wish to die

You lied and cheated and gaslit me
Till I was nothing but a shell
Then you left me for dead
You chose somebody else

It wasn't until I told you
That I had nothing left to give
I stopped giving you my time
And I remembered how to live

Now suddenly you need me back
News flash but I'm not blind
I finally see the truth for what it was
My whole world was realigned

You forced me to come to terms
With the full picture of us
And honestly I can not believe
I had ever gave a ****