It were a lie.
I could see your lips forming the words.
Before you would let them go into my ears.
It were a disgusting sound from a wonderful person.


I acted like I didn’t hear that gross lie.
Instead I heard the voices inside your mind.
Telling me everything about you, your past and future.
They gave me a vision of my future with you.


I was lying on the floor, black blood everywhere.
It wasn’t my blood, but your’s.
Sneaking in my veins, of my precious red blood.
I felt like you, I thought like you… I died like you.


I hated that lie you told me.
“I would never harm you, ever.”
It traveled around my brain, into the deepest places.
For it to stay and holding me awake.


My ocean of thoughts.
My sea of tears.
My pools of blood.
My grave of fireflies.


I died by your hands.
By your feet.
In your blood.
In your mind.

I despise the idea of a protector loving God,
I recognise mother nature as the sole living God,
Why else would the invisible man stay veiled?

I see the troubles rising in the world,
I observe people fighting for their religion,
What sort of Almighty wants sacrifice?

I see the weak & hungry children,
I can only feel sorry for each one of them,
What kind of Father will ignore them?

I fought against myself to love her,
To love her, I had fought my family,
Maybe she did too, but not as seriously.
I had overridden myself to love her,
To love her, I had ignored the world,
Maybe she did too, but not as seriously.
Perhaps, she too was just another illusion after all.

But NO!

I truly loved her,
Only I loved her truly,
The way I loved is not just an illusion.
She did love me,
But not at all as truly,
The way she loved was a fake illusion.
Perhaps, *her love too was just another illusion after all.

"You are so cute and deserve the best!"**

But I just sensed her own strong interest.
When I proposed her after she grew up,
She felt she was not at par with the rest.

I offered to show the world differently,
I wrote many songs and epics for her,
She agreed as instincts told to do so.

I saw her grow from a child to a woman,
When she was directionless I oriented her,
She got my focus and the comfort of poetry.

I invested my time in her once upon a time,
Gave her kind sermons to make her happy,
She even felt like having found that road.

But I got careless halfway through it,
Thought she had matured enough for it,
I was wrong 'cause she was always mature!

I loved her truly even if she was a bit unruly,
But when I said there's something so lovely,
She stepped on my love's throat carelessly.

And during this time I have gotten ancient,
My eyes feel so tired of her changing colors,
That I have sought death than this lonely life.