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photovoltaic Mar 2021
its cold outside and i can't sleep because of you
keep me addicted to my phone, lonely but not alone
its 2am for me, because of these **** timezones
letters against a bright screen, squint my eyes against the light
my eyes are burning, i think im slowly going blind
hopeful messages promising to one day meet up
slip that engagement ring onto your finger, a binding promise
to find you, see you, kiss you, hold you in my arms, in person


not knowing if the other is perfect

~risking ruining your perception of me

because here behind my screen you think i'm everything

~but im bound to disappoint you like i always do

i want to marry someone ive never met

~is this something i'm going to regret?
i started dating this boy online ive never met irl
and
idk how this is going to work out
but i want this to last... is this an impossible fantasy or no?
oh
i didn't realize you didn't care.
i tried so hard
to be there for you,
but you blew me off
like birthday candles.
my favorite smell;
next to pine trees,
on a cold december morning,
where i find myself missing you,
again.
it just turns out,
that all the pretty words you said to me
were lies
and thats alright
because
ill just find myself lying in someone else's bed tonight.
Sydney Dec 2020
It’s 2020 and dating is a joke.

Dating is no longer about trying to get to know who someone is.

It boils down to left or right

hot or not

Society has made dating so hyper-focused on the physical that us women are left wondering if we will EVER be more than just a body.

Whether we are worthy enough to be seen again.

And because of this burning desire to be wanted- we do what we think we are meant to do- we put out.

But we are starting to get scared of all the hauntings caused by the ghosts who have never replied.

Stacks of empty promises of “I want to see you again” or “i’ll see you soon” becoming almost so unbalanced they might just fall.

But they wont

Because somehow the higher they stack, the easier it is to pretend it isn’t there.

To pretend it doesn’t bother us

Our dwindling self-worth held up by the hopes that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.

So we endlessly swipe through strangers near and maybe far.

Waiting for that mutual attraction.

But how many swipes will it take for our hearts to feel full.

For us to stop feeling like we are incapable of being more than what they see us for.

Because as human beings we are extremely impatient.

Stop Looking.
a Dec 2020
"It was as if the universes stood still...
as if time created time within...
Moments...
built with nothing but...
Love...
I felt your soul through it all
Till this moment my moments are just continuing...
as if my soul my mind my spirit was a record and it was kept on loop
I'm still reliving the most precious 6 hrs of my life...
Anastasia...
I'm falling"
- F

Anastasia... I'm falling.
Yeah I am falling too...
for all of the ******* tenacities,
stories,
and everything I ever wished to be true
Falling for the "love at first sight"
or with us it was "love at first type"
but this world isn't a Disney movie
no not "all your dreams will come true"

"Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember"
Stuck up hairs, shattering things, fears that have me dismembered
]
Luna Maria Dec 2020
I've been staring at the word
"online"
under your contact name
for the past hour
its staring back at me
I'm desperately waiting for a reply
(nothing)
i let jealousy take me over
because I know you're texting her
instead of me.
you're both online and i'm just here crying.
his name is andrew
i met him once
he seemed like an *******
but like
in a good way
we met.
i stayed at his house.
he was an actual *******.
we had ***
while i was half asleep.
i cant remember if it was consensual
in the beginning.
i left the next morning.
he started being weird.
sending me gibberish.
i blocked him.
he added me back
again
and again
and again
30 times now.
making usernames
calling me fat
and again
and again
please dont find me
show me
how to be

what I need
who I am
why I care

when's the new?
where am I?
you look very nice in that box.
Dhimss Aug 2020
Stranger behind this digital veil,
I am assuming this is another one of
Cupid’s play
Tell me, is this just another summer fling
Or do I anticipate it to be a real thing?

Will you detest my individuality?
And try castigating my intellect?
Or,
Would you be my Prince Charming,
the ones only found in books?

Would I hear guitar strings strum,
As love crawls in to find its way,
Even then,
Would it, be love?

Could we possibly Make up to the distance?
The warmth, the fireworks of each other’s presence
Amidst the epidemic that has interfered

Would we  Rave endlessly?
Talking all night,
Choosing each other
Over Morpheus’s arms.
Obsessing over little that are suddenly cute

Would we look deranged, with a constant smile?
Hushed voices, muffled giggles,
Lost, chuckling into our phones.
The very type I’ve always made fun of.

Would it be a Disney movie?
Say, a tad more magical?
Could I really judge you,
with a mere photo?

It could be the a summer drizzle
Or go down the drain.
Farce and adherence
Have been my metier
Assuring amazement
To be mundane.

Dear new immigrant,
Enrolling for my heart,
Hoping you’re the yin,
To my yang.
one other poem
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