I praise her arrival,
I wail at her leave –
I place my love in the sun,
Because I will never grieve.
She would never abandon me –
But if she leaves me be.
Weeing on my knees.
I’ll find comfort in the world,
Crying with me.

how i long so much to be
the clothes that cling so selfishly to your skin
the skinny jeans and t-shirts that lay with your flesh
or the pillow that caresses your cheek
wishing you good morning and willing your nightmares away

i hate the house that contains you
it keeps you safe wrapped in its arms
watches you dress and undress each day
a shameless spy with the perfect view

i am also quite envious
of the warm water that glides down your form
slipping in and out of the crevices
of perfect skin
like a gentle waterfall of pleasure

what i would give
to be the books you finger so longingly
fully captivating your attention
feeling you tremble on each of their pages
And stare at them intensely

perhaps someday
i will become the mosquito on your wall
drinking you day in and day out
appreciating every flavor
until i eventually die in your palm

finally

satisfied

I knew it was bad when my fingernails were ringed
with red
as I ran them over ribbons and excused myself
from confetti cake to make them
redder.

my head was burning
a sparkling candle burning
my hands were yearning
a spazzing sticking yearning

my family was singing
a muffled stifling singing
my ears were ringing
a loud ear-piercing ringing

sing
ring
sting
stop stop stop my scalp is stinging

Nothing was clear until my fingernails
were red
and coated with pieces of my head:
rubbed raw and picked clean
You’re telling me
this is something you haven’t seen?

It doesn’t make sense because:
I don’t put pencils in a perfect pristine line
I don’t count my cheerios before I can dine
I can turn the lights on and off just fine
but my fingernails
are red
and apparently that’s a sign.


I can tell you where
every single pinprick lives
and spreads fire down my scalp
into my brain
How it tells me
your math homework can wait
save me
or you’ll go insane

My nails are short
but still red
My brain is intact
but still missing its head

Oh, how I could See the Disorder in a
demented disturbed decision
to forfeit my favorite vanilla cake
for blood

stop stop stop, i’m begging you, brain

you can’t stop; you know you need pain
leave me alone, and you’ll go insane.

The boy with curly hair
a temporary decoy
guitar gone ecstasy, chords ring out
broke and hollow fears, gone before they could destroy

Let off at the brook
catching feelings off the hook
**** my freezing heartless feet
they’ll drown in the dream of maybe

‘Cause either i’m deadly
or i wanted to die
either i’m deadly
or i wanted to die

Love me as your’s and i’ll meet you at mine

Show up on stage
and i’ll be sure to fantasize
one look in the crowd and one in the eye
play for them and pretend for me

I’ll become the fantasy
you’ll want the flowers i bring for the end
a temporary decoy all too easily
either i’m deadly
or i wanted to die
either i’m deadly
or i wanted to die

I may look like a wretch,
But I can do sketch,
Want me to come by,
and make your life outstretched?

Don't worry, I don't bite.
I love people who are fond of aplite.

i have never tried drugs,
some pills that could make me intoxicated
as i was already high on happiness.
but then i realized,
self love which was the spark
behind my positivity is vanishing.
i was horrified.
it has become a drug to myself
that i couldn't imagine my soul working without it.
my passion needed more doses
of self love, and i couldn't make it anymore.
at that time, i wished—
if self love can be found in forms
of pills and drugs,
then i already would have been intoxicating.
but i never got it.
i thank myself at that time
for stoping myself as sometimes
self love isn't important as long as
you are breathing.
other than your blood, flesh and bones
anything can make you go insane.
so it's better to stay on earth
and stop doing our drugs of different obsessions.