My stomach twists and turns
every time I see you staring down at your phone screen
as I’m trying to conversate with you
but you don’t dare look up at me,
probably because you don’t care about what I have to say
your phone is more interesting...

A lake
Running deep
A line stretched
To its core.
What is it that makes me so
Unsure?

A hand
In a trembling fit
Reaches towards a heaven,
May I be free forevermore.

A threatening warmth in my centre
Drowns my soul,
Permanently stuck in a winter
It’s futile to wait
For the passing of the cold
So I am stuck
In my own
Quicksand.
Stuck
Unable to understand
The magnitude of it all
And so I fall
And a certain numbness takes over me,
A certain bewilderment
Because I have been seized and
I do not see.

let me rip away the ivory
from the elephant in the room
rebuke its presence
cover my ears
so i don’t have to realize
these anxieties you bring
they long to dethrone me
rip apart each bone
pick apart this broken brain of mine
with each triggered nerve
i scream it’s okay
putrid false indifference
hopeful lies
for the barren sober pain

The tiny red ant scampers
In a forest of greenish mold
Its bristly legs carrying
Biological modules:
A head with pincers
An imperceptible thorax
A swelling abdomen.

It has nothing but a laborious drive
A pheromone-induced servility
For the queen: the lazy, bloated tyrant!
The sole purpose being
The laying of eggs.

The noble red ant
Moves on to scavenge
Blind and dumb
Oblivious.

To the ruthless cycle
Of its existence.

Blissful art those
that are ignorant.

They know not pain,
for they do not know what pain is;

and I wish
I could join them,

the children of the oblivion.

don't let
the ship sink,

and if
it happens,

don't
leave me
behind,

drown me
in your love.

concealment
is just a lie in disguise