For some reason,
this is the one day of the year
where we place an immense amount
of pressure on ourselves
to have fun, to be social.
On Valentine’s Day,
you’re either with your partner
or you’re not.
On Christmas, you’re with family.
On your birthday, anything goes.
But on New Years,
you’re either out
having a blast or
you’re all
alone.

I grow tired of you hurting yourself with me.
You learn to hate me.
We don’t talk anymore.

My nightmares become fatal.

I stop responding because I don’t know how to answer, and I spend Christmas alone passing out wine-drunk to Naruto. I’m not sorry. My mother calls and I don’t know what to say, and neither does she. Then New Years Eve approaches like a dark cloud to water our crop, and wash away our debts,

but

my acquaintances want to have a fistfight, and I’m asked to be a witness in the police report [but I clearly remember nothing happening, through shades of alcohol].

I clearly remember at the beginning of the night I told you I don’t **** with cops.

Yet, now you’re surprised it makes me uncomfortable.

My daydreams grow immersive. My gameplay grows sloppy.
My reactions grow dull. My body grows weak.
This stranger tastes like cigarettes.
I don’t clearly remember the rest.

Red wine sets my insides on fire
I am filled with desire
My dreams take towards the sky
It makes me feel like I can fly

On New Year’s Eve, 2015,
I cheerily wrote you,
From the other side of the world:

“’Tomorrow is –
The first blank page
Of a 365-page book.’
Let’s make it meaningful!”

On New Year’s Eve, 2016,
I wholeheartedly write you,
From the same state:

“Thank you for joining –
The same cast,
In the same reality,
On the same paper;

Thank you for living –
The same words,
On the same page,
In the same chapter;

Thank you for wanting –
The same things,
With the same pace,
In the same manner;

Thank you for sharing –
The same story,
With the same close,
In the same series.”

long, slow, standing-in-the-middle-of-the-street kisses

walk-me-outside, knew-this-was-coming, i-was-expecting-you kisses

1:30-in-the-morning kisses: soft, sleepy, simple

sparkling, rushed all-of-a-sudden kisses

you-still-taste-like-champagne kisses

brand-new-beginning kisses, kisses that turn the clock,

cross from the old year to the new.

“one more,” you kept saying, “one more, one more, one more."

You ask me if I have a
“New Years Resolution,”

Honey,
I gotta write myself
A new constitution.
Ima start a personal revolution
Cuz I made a conclusion:
I wasn’t being the best person I could’ve,
I wasn’t.

Didn’t take risks or chances that I could’ve,
I wouldn’t.

I didn’t see the good in front of me,
I couldn’t
But I wanted.

Ima treat myself better
Than how I treat my best friends
I’m start things and finish’em
Right till they end

Ima love a bit harder than ever before
Ima even call my mum a little bit more.

Ima tell everyone I adore that they deserve mountains instead of molehills,
Cause they’re all modest in nature and indulge wisely like mice
You deserve every grain in that small bowl of rice
Even if you don’t want to admit it
Even if you don’t realise

Ima sing
Ima craft a love song through the notes that I write
Through my scribbles and nibbles
Gonna treat my lovers right

My friends
my companions
my sisters and brothers
I’ll smother y’all with cheesy ****
Like the personal poet you never had

And I’m glad
That I have the nicest humans
Who I only met in happenstance
Who listen to my ramblings
And the dramatic ways of my circumstance

Maybe this year
I write something brilliant,
Jubilant,
Magnificent
But if I can manage to make someone smile
That would already be significant

If you asked me for my New Years Resolution,
I couldn’t really answer you,
The goals I have in mind
Are really far from “just a few.”

you can hear the flipping
of calendar pages, and the
clink of champagne glasses
the roar of flashing fireworks
and rustling of fabric under
randomly launched hugs&kisses;
what old acquaintance is there
where forgotten woes blend
into hopes of a soul resolved



●○
°
btw, welcome 2016* :-))

That night we uncorked the moon
champagne stars burst forth,
incandescent among the heavens.
We conversed with the Gods.
Swung like children upon their laughter.
Endless drunken words hung from lips
like jewels on the neck of Aphrodite.
Amorous and intoxicated,
we, the ephemeral veins,
uncorked the moon
and found ourselves among stars.