To most breathing is a natural thing.
The body must take in air to stay alive.
I though sometimes forget.
My body forgets how my lungs work.
Then I shut down.
No air enters my system.
You are not breathing.
Trying to catch my breath.
Yes I am fine.
Until panic sets in.
Panic attack makes it harder to breath.
God I'm so ugly when I cry.
Kristen made that go through my head.
Telling me that countless times.
I need to stop crying.
I need melody.
She helps me when **** happens.
It's okay just go to class.
The teacher will let you go to the bathroom for a minute.
I walked quickly on the verge of tears.
Eyes red and puffy.
This is how someone would react if they got dumped by their lover.
Not because they couldn't breath.
I locked eyes with rianna.
Oh ****, now she knows I'm a wimp.
Crying when I can't breath.
Almost to class when the bell rang.
Can I use the bathroom I said.
Yes grab the pass.
T
R
I
G
G
E
R
That caused a full panic attack.
The simple words allowing me to go to the bathroom caused me to break down.
The teacher looked at me.
What's going on sweetie???
She asked concerned.
C-can't breath!
The school nurse came and walked me down to her office.
Your okay she said.
Now tell me what has been going on?
I can't breath!
Yes more specifically.
I ran and couldn't breath then I had a panic attack.
Yes this is my life.
Barely breathing sometimes.
Having panic attacks over little things.
This is how I live.

**** me, heal me, with your love,
until my heart's confused
and my head is beating,
my lips won't speak,
but our eyes are meeting.
break me, hold me, in your arms,
if that will make you well,
then take me like a pill.
until we stop this lovesickness,
but to stop-- we never will.

The doctor sat before me
Said "Take your trousers off"
She reached inside my boxers
"now , turn your head and cough"

I thought this little grabfest
With her hand upon my kit
Was a little south of normal
But, I stood and did my bit

She asked me a few questions
And now me....getting rather terse
Said" I went through this already"
"out front talking to the nurse"

"I'm not sure what you're doing"
"And I do not think it's right"
"Get your hand out of my trousers"
"I'm just here to fix the light!"