I can’t remember when everything changed. When humanity somehow evolved beyond us and harnessed power unlike we’d ever seen. When someone who was nobody somehow got the right to lock us in cages and have at it with any experiment they wished. It’s like we don’t even exist. Not technically, not to them. Just masses of flesh and unwelcome thought.

I can’t remember my name. Well, I can, but not properly, not like I should. But names don’t matter here. Numbers do and people don’t. I don’t know what I should think of that but they don’t care, I shouldn’t be allowed to think.

Age is relative. I can remember my age - just another number. But I’m smart enough to know that this number’s important. Because as soon as there’s another just as I was, they won’t need me anymore. But for all it’s worth, age has no other meaning. Here, we live for today and die for tomorrow, it’s a pattern that’s collapsed on us, suffocating until there’s only enough time to breath once before it’s our last.

I’m a recluse now. I don’t speak. My thoughts are choppy because I barely think. No, that’s a lie. I think a lot. That’s all I do. Think, contemplate, and observe.
Words. What use are words when no one listens to them? I haven’t spoken in months and even if I could, there are no words. My throat is raw and silent where my mind is numb and screaming from it’s twisted logic. Sometimes I want to die. But I won’t, because they won’t let me. I’m too important, here for the cause. We’re all here for the cause.

For some reason I have aged
quicker
than the normal human race would.

I am older than any human alive.
I am older than the trees grounded to earth by their roots
and the purest water that flows in a place no being has ever discovered.
I am older than Christ
I am older than dinosaurs
I am older than earth itself.


But normally when people ask me, I make it simple by thinking up a random number such as 
1,300,456
you could say I look
young
for my age, but all I can see when I look in the mirror is
death.

in this world i am no longer a person im a number
in school im known by 6 digits
to the government im known by 9
my birth name doesnt matter just the date and the time
to colleges and businesses i am just a risk with a high probabilty of failure
to the law im just a statistic on a page that proves their right about a certain race based on a percentage
to women , men are congruent because all we want is to divide and multiply from you a product of kids we wont raise, right?
and these imaginary numbers are suppose to tell me my maximum potential but based on the color of my skin its just a minimum projection
i dont care what you say the accuracy of these numbers is so far from true
im an algorithm too complex for any human to solve with numbers
my goals are at such a high altitude that not even a space shuttle could reach them
and when i find that one special woman that has been walking parallel to my life that has now become perpindicular so when we intersect we will walk the same line
and she will know that i am X divided by Zero ... undefined , that i can be irrational and impossilbe
but will understand if she tries to solve me with numbers she will crash into a median and find no solution
so life wont get better till we converse in a way that forms a postive correlation , till we start seeing each other as people instead of integers
till we subract the numbers from Algebra and start to form words from the letters
because thats what defines us WORDS ... not numbers

It's been 494 days since you left.
Wow.
You would think I'd stop writing about you.
We were together 237 days.
It seems like nothing really....

And I've known him for 287 days.
And yes he makes me feel better but he doesn't love me the way you pretended to.