You NEED to do this and you NEED to do that
I’m no longer me, I’ve become flat
What makes you an expert, on my mind?
You no longer see me, you are now blind

I don’t do as you say so you ply me with guilt
These kind of conditions have caused me to wilt
My petals have faded; they’re all on the floor
You think it will stop, if I just give you more

I’m not sure; I have much left to give
I’m desperately lost, I feel I can’t live
I’m stuck in a box, I don’t have a voice
I’m doing things and I don’t have a choice

I’ve shut down, I no longer smile
You can’t see me; it’s just not your style
I’m nothing unless I do what you say
I’m no longer human, I’m now decay

My voice has no sound, my tears you can’t see
It’s all about you, it’s no longer WE
I’ve so tried hard, to release, my chains
I need you to look, and see, the strains

I get so frustrated, I’m starting to pop
I keep so much in, with the hope it will stop
The hope is now lost, I have nowhere to turn
I’m all alone, I’m starting to burn

If I give in to the tears, forever they’ll flow
A lot has happened, a lot no one knows
All I wanted, was a real hand,
But I’ll never ask and I’ll never demand

There is help, it’s in tablet form
I’m scared of it, don’t want to conform
I won’t be real, I’ll just be numb
Is it all I can do with the damage that’s done?

"i am a forest fire
and i am the fire and i am the forest
and i am the witness watching it
i stand in a valley watching it
and you are not there at all"
- 'a burning hill' - Mitski

Hold me,
In an embrace of thorns.
Hold me with a metallic feel,
Masticated love,
Votives made up of us
Rejected in full stead
To what appeal?
Wealth?
Life paid at the expense of ***,
******* yourself.

no words.

I have no words

though I suppose by saying I don't I do.

No clever alliteration. No poetic narrative.

Just hollowness

and a heavy head

And a want to cry, but the tears wont come.

Noah Kahan is right.

I filled the hole in my head

Forgot how to cry

but the pain still exists

and nothing is different

i thought if i reached the end, everything would be better

but its all the same.

Wanting to see you happy took on a deeper meaning
I got my wish and this is something I see you achieving
My heart can’t decide whether to elevate or keep sinking
I feel your love but sometimes I’m the one missing.
I’m trapped in a hole of my own making
It’s like I want to come up but I’m still debating
Do I push myself off the ledge or keep praying
I hope my love is strong enough to choose staying
there’s nothing on your end that’s wrong, it’s me
I’ve been working on letting me feel alive and free
Keep regressing to a time where I’m afraid and weak
and hope you don’t hate me if I reach a new peak
Intrusively, I risk losing my precious purpose of being
You’re sending the signs I need but I’m not seeing
How much I mean to you becomes invisible to link
With the love and happiness, I wish for you, to exist.