Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Roni Hall Mar 12
I am having my very first heartbreak

Not the one gifted by my highschool sweetheart

Or crushes kissing someone else's,

Not to this extent they made me ache

faking my senses

To the point where I believe my existence is a mistake.


Who am i?


The person who i had to be to become more lovable,

More palatable

Their emotional punching bond,

mental spitting pond


Where am i?


within the vacuum of nothingness, bye,

I am swirling into the great rock bottom beyond,

Where my failures are calling me down to die,

But, Giving up my life to appease the devil can...not.


I am having my very first heartbreak

My parents don’t love me for who i really am

But for who they prefer me to wake

To the expense of my authentic self so i self harm

With an emotional and mental intake,

That keeps my realness locked up, so i  forsake

Because how can I enter this world without them behind my back?


Born to be ashamed, i am

Guilty of inadequacies so they request i parent them

Neglected, i abandon my inner child now orphaned

No place within to call home

Everywhere in my heart its cold, not warm

I crave this loss of love, I am ******!

So i lose my dignity to get as little love i can get, slam

i am having my first heartbreak

Because i am lame
it's ok to feel sucky sometimes.
Gideon Mar 7
Loud head. Silent mouth.
Loud thoughts. Empty words.
Loud pain.
Screaming, deafening pain.
Numbness.
Millee Mar 7
...
numb and drained
life is being ****** from me
its vibrant colors slowly fading to gray
leaving me empty

life has no meaning
i'm not living this way
only existing because im a coward
afraid to throw it all away

a pull of a trigger
a swipe of a knife
small simple things
to end my life

this isn't a plea
no i don't want your sympathy
go take it and use it
for someone other than me
cerul wasnt an average child.
they were smart
kind
charming
elegant
sweet

at least thats what adults told them.
cerul didnt lack much
save for... inspiration. cerul wasnt one to be inspired easily.
cerul looked at all the other colorful children and then looked down upon their dark grey hands.
they felt ugly.
one fateful day, crimson happened to walk up to cerul and they sat together. crimsor took down her flowing, bright red hair and put her tie into ceruls hair. a flow of red went through their pale hair.
crimson smiled and left.

cerul was jealous.
to them it came easy.
they never lost color.
or inspiration.
they didnt lack talent.
colorful children were always favoured.
they would never have a home.

cerul talked to all kinds of people.
sage
aqua
prussian
even prune and azure.

none of them had advice.

cerul sat against the floor one day and cried. for many hours they cried.
they cried until the grey smudged into black.
until the red rushed from their hair.
until they were numb again.

cerul waited for something; anything to happen.
and nothing ever did.
cerul.
working on this for a contest! lmk how i did.
Lostling Mar 5
Today I am…
A wisp of hazy cloud, drifting aimlessly.
A sponge, wrung dry. Only ***** suds remain.
A drop of water, endlessly falling—drip… drip… drip…
The colour grey. A dull shade. Just… there.
A fallen cup, its drink long evaporated.
A rock, lying on the riverbed, unmoving, watching life swim by.
Down Day
Numb to touch
pressure under my skin.

Electric brush
stroke finely pricked.

Mind of innocence
Petals freshly plucked.

Left to adorn
shrouding my affliction.

Mine to live and lead
As partners pass and fade.
I am not my infection. I am not my illness. Rejection hurts but it's a learning curve.
Ashar Feb 28
A whisper starts, a doubt takes hold,
Are feelings gone, a story told?
Success and loss, a vibrant hue,
Yet senses fade, what once felt true.
The taste of joy, the sting of pain,
Recalled like sun, or falling rain.
But touch is lost, a phantom limb,
Where feeling danced, now shadows dim.
Not blankness born of empty days,
But absence deep, in hollow ways.
Joy, grief, and love, mere words they seem,
A barren plain, a broken dream.
The memory aches, a cruelest jest,
Of colors seen, now put to test.
A void expands, a chilling fear,
The vibrant soul, no longer near.
Yet hope remains, a fragile thread,
To reignite, what lies as dead.
Reflection's path, a winding way,
To find the spark, that slipped away.
A lonely fight, a hidden plea,
How to explain, what others see?
Empathy's ghost, a hollow sound,
In silent depths, where truth is bound.
A fleeting warmth, a sudden rage,
A glimpse of life, upon the stage.
Like desert rain, a moment brief,
Then thirst returns, beyond belief.
But whispers stay, a fragile sign,
That brokenness, is not divine.
No charted course, no guiding hand,
Just memory's compass, in this land.
Though limbo's fear, may ever loom,
A single ember, breaks the gloom.
A breath of hope, a whispered prayer,
To fan the flames, and find what's there.
The "phantom limb" metaphor: It's a perfect analogy for the way we can still feel the echoes of emotions that are no longer present.
Reece Feb 26
Sometimes,
I don’t feel anything,
Not something bad,
Just nothing at all.
Head feels clouded with fog,
The contagious, corruptive smog.
Slowly,
Killing,
Me,
From the inside out,
One day,
I’ll be free,
From this apathy.
I’ll learn to care again,
I’ll find myself again,
I will…
I think sometimes everyone feels a little numb, and it's such a strange feeling. At least it's always temporary.
I'm probably not going to **** myself.
lose myself into the void.
fall asleep in silence
in my eyes emotions devoid.
I'll just take a bunch of pills or cut my pretty wrists
distract myself from the sirens and ball them into fists.
im probably not gonna **** myself
theres not enough reason to
no one who can help me
nothing at all

i know ill upset someone
i know people would be mad
but this overwhelming sadness
this numbness
this emptiness

the voices getting louder
the people screaming in my ears
the stupid stupid noise

i know i wont.
im too scared.
i dont want to die.
i just want to feel again
im so tired
Next page