i hear the lady in french- but cannot listen.
my heart is beating slowly. the fear has seeped in.
the snow falls steady- we’ll be snowed in,
busting secrets, let’s not keep them.
let’s not keep them.

stumble into freshman notebooks.
discover nothing fresh or ripe.
but something stewing, something rotten.
something worth it- worth some talking.
now i’m laughing.

your uninspired, murmured sleep.
my tapping toes, so off-beat.
teach me rhythm, i lose it fast.
forgot how to flirt and picked up class,
something worth it- let’s not keep it.

I have dozens of notebooks,  
Filled with thousands of words,
All about one person.

Here I am back at it once more
So many thoughts & random words then before
Piles of crumpled paper litter the floor
DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging on my door
To my notebooks I am a slave
Their pages filled with thoughts I must forever save
There are memories of dancing at a rave
& times when my friends & I would misbehave
Pages & pages of things I am not sure if I wish to be told
While other pages, stories begin to unfold
All the memories & thoughts throughout my years, is what each notebook forever will hold
Time carries on & I'll share the stories those pages contain when I'm old
But for now I guard them with my life & hold them tight
I have to keep them tucked away out of sight
I'm not quite ready to share all the things I write
Or explain reasons why I'm awake all night
So I'll continue to disappear into my room & hide
It is to my notebooks I truly do confide
The pages always catch my tears, after moments I've broken down & cried
They've helped me deal with people I trusted but then they lied
Most of all, made me realize you can't save them all, no matter how hard you tried
It's like a therapy session with no therapist
Expressing onto paper instead of using my fists
Pages collect the issues & not a single one is missed
That's why I have peace within & always happy..... To me it's pointless to be or stay ******!!