Saying sorry is the hardest word to say in the english language.
Saying sorry is a humbling experience.
Saying sorry takes courage.
Saying sorry requires your own feelings to take a back seat.
I hate the word sorry.
At least I hate saying it.
I want to erase it from my vocabulary.
I say it too much.
I tend to apologize when it’s not entirely my fault.
I usually say sorry when I want to “save” a relationship.
Or at least try to make it better.
And it’s not even romantic relationships.
It’s friendships, family, etc.
I felt like saying sorry would change things.
I felt like that maybe if they saw me put forth the effort to make it work then they would too.
I thought that if I said sorry that they would say sorry too.
I was wrong.
Every time I said sorry no one said it back.
I took responsibility for my actions,
why weren’t they taking responsibilities for theirs?
I know I was in the wrong,
but I wasn’t the ONLY one in the wrong.
Why am I always the one to take the blame?
I thought saying sorry was supposed to make me feel better.
Why do I feel worse?
I’m tired of being the only one who is sorry.
I want to live my life unapologetic.
From now on the only thing I’m sorry for is not being sorry.
Sorry not sorry.

It has always been this way
And always will,
History demands it.
Weak minded, downtrodden, ungrateful
Foolish slaves and peasants
We are all that and more
To our emotions.
But while enough strength remains
To raise a hand
We will fight back
Even at the risk of losing everything
The little we have
We will fight back - we must
For no-one should stand
In another's shadow.

It's not your job to prove them wrong.
Sometimes, just walking away
Says more than words ever could.
It's not your job to fight
In a fight that's not yours.
But sometimes, it's what's right.
It's not your job to forgive someone
Or take them back.
Listen to your heart,
You will be on the right track.
Your only job is to be yourself.
To do what's best for you, your health,
Your happiness.

My mother once told me that
Some people will never be yours
no matter how hard you try

I finally understood what she meant
When you told me to get lost
After confessing my love for you.

I miss living my life,
back when smells weren’t polluted, diluted by oceans.
When sparrows dived and swallows would fly.
catching the day on their wing,
a perfect dance across a broken mind.

But how many lives will it take for me to be happy?
how many memories of songs and poems?
of long chats and short walks.
of star kissed nights and sun touched skies.