heart screams
noise overwhelms
why is it
failing me?

is there truly
no one?
no fish?
maybe mammals
are better

but the world
hates
why do they
hate
me

too close to home,
to what I know

why cant this
end?

It is so quiet.
I hear peanuts shells
snapping
teeth grinding
peanuts into butter
between his teeth.
The quiet page turning
Buried do deeply in
"The Scottish Prisoner"
It will be a while
Before he is hungry for dinner.
A bonus!
Turing thoughts inward
to the ever present ringing in my ears.
Long breaths in
and slower breaths out
Allowing the noise to disappear.

Victim, of my own choices
Caught, in a tight corner
With my back to the wall
All I hear is noise

all the noises echoing around me,
the sounds getting stuck
bouncing around inside my skull,
the feet tapping
those pens dropping
that page turning
my mind as clear as a blizzard day,
hearing every little creek,
over and over,
higher and higher,
faster and faster,
my brain never stops,
these sounds can’t escape,
nobody can see it, but…

…the silence has never been so loud

tw: self harm


There’s this noise
It’s on repeat
In my head
And it’s whispering
In the back of my mind

do it again
                  cut deeper this time
   don’t you want to see the blood?
                       don’t you want to feel the pain?
        you want it.              i know.
                         just pull out the knife
              clean it
and release